Tantrums...

Tantrums are exhausting all round! Well except for Bubba-ista who just watched and took the whole thing all in... storing all the ideas in the memory bank for later!!

It was all about clothes, as it usually is with 4 year old girls... Ive tried to bring up a child immune to this crap but it seems its bigger than me! She chose a Summery (read-Slutty!) dress, and although it was mutually agreed upon to wear a Tshirt with it, the problem arose when she wanted to wear the Tshirt underneath and I had said it would go over the top... it's not a big deal I know and to be honest I don't really care, except that I had said that's what we were doing. Its a 15 min walk to childcare, usually a pleasant walk but with a soundtrack of "I wanna see the whole thing..." over and over in THAT voice, and when that didn't work she thought maybe "I don't want the Tshirt..." might change things. I remained strong and clam (on the outside anyways!) and just ignored, but it's so hard, inside I was seething and just wanted to shout at the little brat. And that's the thing, shes not a little brat!

It's 9.30 and I'm already exhausted! Thank the goddess for childcare and a day with just Bubba-ista whose tantrums I'm still able to laugh at and think 'Is that the best you can do, your gonna have to do better than that if you want to get up my nose!'

babies and evil books...

Have I told you I have the perfect baby? She sleeps all night, only cries when she's hungry and is totally cute! Now I'm not saying this to gloat... believe me if I knew what i was doing right I would share it with you, write a book and make a million dollars! But boy, those books can be evil, full of contradictory information and advice and making their money out of making women question their own abilities and intuition. I read one recently that was so rigid in it's routines it would have stressed me out so much if tried to follow it I would be an absolute mess! You must do this and that at this time and not a minute before or later, I'm sorry but that's just not real life! Sure I know that routines can have their place and maybe I'm lucky that both my babies have fallen into their own routines (were allowed to fall into their own routines maybe?). Early on I read and article that said that it was a good idea to not have too strict a routine so your kid doesn't freak out if your out somewhere and am running late or whatever. It also advised that you sometimes give their bottles at different temperatures so that if you couldn't heat it when you were out and about they wouldn't freak out too. I have followed that one!

My advice... find what suits you and then don't read anymore of those books! and follow your instincts and intuition!

Supercute or what!!!

Especially when you consider it was taken by a 2 year old!

Appropriate reading...

Started The lost art of sleep by Michael McGirr last night, the title appealed to me for obvious reasons. So far it seems to be an entertaining read alternating chapters between Mythology, Philosophy and a little Shakespeare with the authors own experiences of having babies.

On this note, jealous friends who I have told that I only had to get up once in the night for the newbie will be pleased to note it was pretty much every two hours last night!!! Thank the goddess it’s childcare day today and the Newbie and I can have a pyjama day...

S is for...

Sierra!

She’s three weeks old today!

Here’s some thoughts on the past 3 weeks...

I have actually felt a lot more relaxed in the three weeks since she was born than probably the three weeks previous. She’s a very laid back baby... eats, sleeps and shits and thats about it! Oh yeah and she’s also pretty goddamn cute too!!!!

I got myself so stressed about the Caesarean but I’ve been absolutely fine since, I feel so good that I have to remind myself I’m not supposed to be doing certain things or whatever...

The operation itself was one of the strangest experiences of my life, I’ve only had one operation before (and I was knocked out for that one) being fully conscious but not being able to feel anything, and all these people there for little old me! I could see the lady in recovery moving my legs but they didn’t seem attached to my body. One of the other strange parts was that I only saw her for a few minutes, then she was taken away to be checked out and stuff while I was in recovery. So here I am, already having this out of body type experience, and my brain knows I have just had a baby but I can’t seem to comprehend this fact!

Feeding could cause me stress if I let it. I am trying to feed from the boob but don’t seem to be able to satisfy so have to top up with formula when I just can’t handle her hanging off the boob anymore! I have strong feelings about the whole breastfeeding business. I will not deny that breast feeding is most probably best, but it doesn’t work for everyone, I don’t care what the breast Nazi’s say! We have options and no one should ever be made to feel guilty or a lesser parent for utilising any of the options available. There’s talk of how it helps with the bonding process, well how can a stressed out mum and a hungry baby bond more than a contented pair with a bottle in hand? For me, a delicate mix of boob, expressed milk and formula is getting me through, and I figure if I last three months again, then I am doing pretty damn good! Part of me just doesn’t have the patience to sit still for so long with my jugs out!

Now it’s not actually been the newbie that been causing me any stress... its little miss, she regressed to wanting to be like the baby. We’ve had to take evasive action to get the toilet training back on track, and a little strawberry Quik has got us over wanting to have milk in a bottle all the time (lucky she hasn’t figured out you could have pink milk in a bottle too!) I’m doing all those things that the text books and magazines tell me too like making her totally involved with the new baby, she gets her nappies and picks her clothes for the day. She gives her kisses and cuddles and I don’t think it’s a jealousy thing, maybe just a comfort zone thing, or why try hard with all this hard stuff if the baby can just lay there and get the same sort of attention. But we’re getting there, getting a routine of sorts happening. And the electronic baby sitter is getting a workout too!!!

The boy went back to work today and I’ve managed to get through the morning ok!!! Just joking (I have got through the morning ok, Just joking that it needs to be pointed out!!) I’m enjoying some space with no visitors, no boy, two sleeping children and a yummy lunch (out of the freezer!). So I guess things are going along fine... so far!

One more sleep...

So this time tomorrow (well actually a few hours ago) there will be a whole new person in the world!!!

I can't believe I have finally gotten to this point, I was sure the baby would have been here long before now (actually I was hoping for September 23rd which was my Jack's birthday), and it's weird but I actually feel like I can relax a little now! Ive been so on edge and expelling so much emotional energy with every little pain... thinking 'is this it? Is it all happening now' going through what I am going to have to do/who I'm gonna have to call and all that stuff!

Ive also been quite weird about thinking about the baby actually being here, after losing the last baby (see November '08 post) and the drama's attached with this one (though the irregularity in her heartbeat seems to be getting less with every scan) I guess I have just been subconsciously trying to protect myself a little bit.

Anyways, tomorrow... it's all happening tomorrow!!!

Waiting, Waiting...

Still a week to go before my so called 'elective' Caesar... I hate that phrase as it brings to mind that whole 'too posh to push thing'... makes me realise that you never do know the circumstances behind any ones decisions and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover! (even though I do, quite often, literally judge a book by it's cover!)It's not my first choice, but I really just want to get this kid out safely... and soon!

But a week can be a long time in late pregnancy! and Ive already gone past the point where little miss was born... so you never know... and Ms Braxton Hicks is going crazy down there, freaking me out at all sorts of ungodly hours of the night!

So this week is going to include a lot of this, so called, 'taking it easy' business... yeah right... with a two year old!... and of course, the boy!!! Wish me luck!

How Civilised...

I'm booked in for a caeser 11.30 am, Monday 5th October... It feels weird that I know what the birthdate is going to be allready... allthough I still think I could go earlier!

A woman possessed...

Finished up work yesterday, frankly, over the last couple of weeks, I wasn't sure I was going to make it!!!!

I feel like this baby wants to come out now! Or maybe that's just wishful thinking, or maybe I just want to know that everything is OK.

I know I should be using this time to relax but I I'm afraid that ain't gonna happen... I have some major nesting going on here!

Up at 6.30 this morning because I could handle the mess in the kitchen, last week I had the cooking palooza where I was like a woman possessed filling up the freezer with yummy goodness... what the hells going on, the Boy better not go getting any ideas about perfect housewives!!!

Have another Ultrasound tomorrow... should know more then, or have news... The Doc has instructed me not to eat or drink from 11am tomorrow just in case!!!

Long time... for me

Well hey there folks, It's been a while, for me anyway!

I'd love to be one of those bloggers who writes a post everyday and is all good and stuff... and hey it's not like I haven't had a lot going on to write about either, it's just my brain is such a full fuzzball at the moment that not a lot is getting done.

I finish work tomorrow and was hoping that would clear out some of the junk in there, but now it's got all filled up again with new stuff.

You see on Friday I went to my obstetrician (here by known as "Doc") for just a regular routine appointment and told him I was feeling pains and a bit weird and all that, so he sent me up to the hospital to go on the monitor for a while 'to put my mind at ease.' Well we discovered a whole new problem that hadn't been detected before. Seems my baby has an irregular heartbeat. So into panic stations, you see after what happened with my last pregnancy Doc is being extra protective and cautious. So he gets me in for an emergency Ultrasound (which he had to beg for), Instructs me not to eat or drink anything in case this baby has to come out today... Man, that would have been a really inconvenient day for me to have a baby!!! So the U/S showed that although the heartbeat is irregular, the heart itself is fine, which alleviated the initial panic, but still had to go back to the Doc yesterday for a steroid shot in case baby needs to come out early. Almost defiantly by Caesar which is OK but the recovery is what scares me. So now I am instructed to "take it easy"... yeah right! and have another U/S on Friday... and again no food or drink in case it has to come out then!

Geez nothing is ever simple in my life... and out of three births, not one is even remotely textbook!!!

So now it's just a bit of wait and see, Lets get through tomorrow, get rid of work, this so called "take it easy" business, then whatever happens, happens and when Bubba-ista is born, well then we'll see whats next!

Latest pics of Bubba-ista...

I’m up to 32 weeks now, and given Little Miss was a 36 weeker, well there ain't much time to go (though I will probably go well overdue given that I’m assuming and planning for this one to be early too!) I am hyper sensitive to every gut pain at the mo, thinking "am I starting labour or do I just need to go to the toilet?" It’s exhausting!

I feel like I’m going crazy, my hormones are out of control and I’m wavering between complete Bitch, cleaning freak and can’t move off the couch blob... I guess this is typical pregnant woman behaviour! It feels like Permanent Menstrual Tension and I am really over it... so is the Boy! And they pregnancy brain... oh my god, you could dupe me out of anything! I even short-changed myself with the petty cash at work the other day!!

Anyways, enough of the whinge!!!

P.S. Best pregnancy tip I have been given (by a medical professional mind you!)... If you’re feeling low on Iron, Milo is a great source, though you have to eat it straight from the tin because when you mix it with milk, the Vitamin D kind of counteracts with the Iron... Hey I don’t need an excuse to eat Milo straight from the tin!!! But I will use that as justification!!!

Girls Girls Girls...

Break out the pink wool friends. Contrary to what my psychic Krystal told me last year, and ten years ago, looks like it’s going to be two girls for me...

Now I know that these things can be wrong, but this ultrasound was done by a doctor and I was sent to this place because they are the best. The doctor said he was 100% sure this was a girl and if my obstetrician pulls out a boy he wants to be called straight away!

So now we are on the hunt for girls names... any suggestions?

Enjoy!

Sis...

I’ve been a little slack of late with my unsolicited book review type posts of late; I’ve been reading a lot, but nothing that has really blown me away.

Red Couch Book Club is currently reading Jodi Picoult’s My Sisters Keeper. She’s not the sort of author I would normally pick up; in fact I would probably put her into the category of “Popular faff”. I do have a friend who raves about her though so I was happy to give her a go. I have to say this one is defiantly pulling at the heart strings. The chapters alternate the voices of the characters, all in the present except Sara (the mum’s) which is giving us the background info. Its Sara’s chapters I am finding hard to read, especially the first one, where her two year old daughter is diagnosed with leukaemia.

I have a two year old daughter.

I guess I am also a bit sensitive at the moment, I am around the point in my pregnancy where I lost the last baby, and I am very aware of every movement, or lack thereof. I know on an intellectual level that there was no found reason for the loss of the last one and therefore no indication that it is likely to happen again, but unfortunately these things don’t work on an intellectual level.

So my apologies if I seem a little snappy, or disappear off for a while...

Anyways, back to the book. I am just over half way through and at first I was very sympathetic with the Anna Character and hated Sara, but as it goes along I’m beginning to understand Sara a lot more. I guess it’s that old “Both sides of the story” thing! I’m still finding Sara’s chapters hard to read and I had a bit of a cry over it last night (oh my god, I’m actually admitting to that!!!!) and I know what’s going to happen, but I’m determined to finish it... perhaps a good cry will do me good, just have to make sure I read it when no one’s around!

P.S. (a couple of days after writing this post) I just finished this book and certainly didn't see that one coming! I should have, looking back it should have been predictable. Had a good cry anyway!!!!

Bubba-ista

We have an in-utero name! Little Miss has finally understood the concept that she is going to have a "Brother or Sister" but it comes out "Bubba-ista".


We hadn't come up with a name last time, but Anouk's was "Wibbler" which came about one morning when the Boy and I were laying in bed and, do you ever have your words mash together like when your thinking about two different words at the same time and they kind of come out together? Well I went to say it's "Wiggling" and also it's "Wobbling" and it came out "Wibbling" so form that point on she was "Wibbler". It actually took us a long time after she was born to break the habit. We were actually starting to get a little concerned that she wouldn't learn her own real name!