Femi-nazi? Femi-nuffy more like it... AKA my history in feminism

I identify as a feminist, but it’s such a loaded word, as I soon came to understand as a Naive first year student at a country university taking Women’s Studies because it sounded interesting.

I always heard that feminists were crazy women and they might get somewhere if they just figured out what they want as the media pitted one feminist against another with very different ideals and priorities. Of course I heard this from my bigoted, narrow minded father whose other such rants took on topics such as Aboriginal land rights, Greeks, left wing politicians, Homosexuals, Immigrants etc. Etc. You get the idea! Whose answer to any kind of further explanation was always “one day you’ll understand” which I only came to realise later meant he had no further debate and his whole perspective of the situation came from A Current affair/60 minutes. (But then again he also assumed that nobody likes Pumpkin soup and everyone likes country music and could never understand if he was ever challenged on these beliefs.)

Anyways I was going somewhere with this rant!

Ive always thought that chicks were great but thought you had to have some academic kind of qualification or have had some sort of radical initiation to be able call yourself a feminist. I remember enrolling in the Women’s studies subject and making some offhand comment to my then boyfriend along the lines of “Ha, wont my dad love it if I come home and tell him I’m a feminist... how would he cope with that first a gay son then a feminist daughter...” and then-boyfriend said “why don’t you already call yourself a feminist” which got me to thinking (turns out this boyfriend might have been useful for something after all now I think about it!).

Anyways back on the track... So in undertaking this course I discover that its not that simple... there’s your radical feminist, your Marxist feminists, your separatist, queer, eco, black, liberal, not to mention your second-wave, third-wave and post feminists and it goes on and on and on... I JUST THINK CHICKS ARE GREAT! I love it when women beat men at their own game, I believe that women can do everything and anything that men can (and more) and want the opportunity to be available to all. and I have no issue with pornography or women using their bodies if THEY ARE THE ONES IN CONTROL and doing it because they want to.

But it’s choice that I think it comes down to, and I respect if that choice includes things traditionally under the feminine gender stereotype like being a stay at home mum, a nurse, knitting, baking cupcakes or whatever floats your boat. I love that these things are being reclaimed, and I love it even more when men do them too. I think the world these days is hard for men too, and I respect anyone who can loudly and proudly JUST BE THEMSELVES! (P.S.I love knitting and baking cupcakes so there!)

Feminism still gets a bad rap, a friend of mine the other day said something along the lines of “yeah they did a lot of great stuff for women but now we are expected to do it all, work, babies, all of it.” There is a lot of truth in that, and it’s defiantly something I struggle with everyday. Life would be a lot easier for me if I were happy to be a stay at home mum/subservient housewife but I’m afraid it ain't gonna happen! It was never going to be like that. And it would be nice if the boy would come along for that ride and meet me half way but he seems to delight in making life hard for me! Things were fine before the kiddlies came along, we would each cook every second night and whoever didn’t cook did the dishes blah blah. But for some reason when the kiddiewinks came along 50’s housewife style gender divides came into play. And I’d just like to add here in my defence that pretty much the year after you have a baby is the most vulnerable time in a woman’s life and if there is someone willing to take advantage of that then you’re in big trouble lady (trust me I know!)

So how does one fix this mess, without becoming a ‘bitch’ or a ‘nag’ (my current tag). The only way out I can currently see for the boy to once again take me seriously again is to return to full-time work, it’s the only way I can see he might meet me half way, but I think I’m kidding myself there too. I want him to become a stay at home or at least part time working dad, Then I get to just lie on the couch when I get home from work until called to the table for tea (but only once it’s served up and on the table for me!) Actually I don’t think that’s how it will really be but whatever happens, I can’t wait to see how he handles it all. “This is easy” will no doubt be all I will here “I don’t know what you were winging about”, all that! But I’ll know...

How does one juggle all these identities ‘wife’(I use this term loosley!), mother, lover, career-gal, feminist without dropping any of the (metaphorical) balls? Will he ever meet me ½ way? Will those feminists on the telly ever agree on what it is they are fighting for? Join me in the next life for the answers to these questions and more...

Zinies...

I love getting real mail... And today I received this tasty little package full of zines I ordered from Sticky Institute in a bit of a drunken online shopping splurge on my weekend off! Ima gonna be busy for the next couple of days! Oh and I will probably find them VERY inspiring... Don't say you haven't been warned!

A roller skating jam called sunday morning...

I just went for my first Roller Skate is probably 7 years (well apart from that one spin around the kitchen after I saw Whip it last year!) and hey guess what... didn't fall over or nothin'!!! Yup I've still got my skates much to the boys chargrin, they are cool, red and white, old skool (though unfortunately not hightop but you cant have it all and eat it too). In fact how I came to own these skates is kind of a funny story, one my mum will be most upset about me telling. It must have been, oh god at least 20 year ago as I was still a teenager and still going to rod runs with the fam... this one was at the Natex complex in Canberra which happened to also contain a Roller Skating rink back when there were still Roller Skating rinks around... (does anyone else remember the Zoo Roller Disco in Bendigo? I think its a paint shop now!) Anyways my dad had this hilarious idea that he wanted to please the crowd by roller skating in his undies behind the Yellow truck (out Chevy pickup) water skiing style. He went to the rink to borrow a pair and they were not amused and wouldn't lend them... so he bought them... as you do. I don't think anyone else found this caper as hilarious as my dad thought it was, especially my mum whom to which we pointed out that dad had holes in those particular undies... Anyways as luck would have it I'm about the same size shoe as my dad, well a tiny bit bigger but the stitches, breathing and lower back pain tend to kick in before the feet start to hurt so it's all good!

Fast cars and Slow magazines...

Latest issue of Slow magazine...

Ex Libris Detrium...

Check out the Ex Libris Detrium exhibition at Castlemaine library...

"an accumulation of objects found in books returned to the library"

DIY feminism...

That book on Riot Grrrl, Girls to the front got me thinking about another book in my collection which I dragged out today; DIY Feminism which came out around '95-96. Actually I remember when I bought it, I was sort of friends with this girl, I say sort of friends because I thought we were friends but it was one of those circumstantial friendships where once circumstances have changed and I wasn't needed anymore, well, you know, scrap heap etc. Anyways she had told me about this "naff book about trying to be all new feminist with, you know, annoying chicks like that one in Spiderbait and that young spunky politician and stuff". She was totally bagging it out but I just kept my mouth shut and thought I'd go buy it at the next opportunity. I think it was my first real introduction to things like zines. Growing up in the country in the pre-internet age really was such a sheltered lifestyle. Anyways, it was a good book, and I'm gonna have another read so hopefully it hasn't dated too much!

Four books that have changed the way I feel about teenage girls...

I remember how hard it can be to be a teenage girl, and it shocks me to realise that it was half of my lifetime ago, sometimes that agony is still so strong for me. There have been four books that have really effected me in the last couple of weeks and all have that teenage girl theme running through them; I watched the movie Precious and was blown away and immediately read the Novel Push by Sapphire. Based around her experiences teaching underprivileged teenage girls in alternative schools, and told from the perspective of Clarice Precious Jones, who is 16 and pregnant with her second child to her father... not for the fainthearted but so inspiring with finding the right support and someone to believe in you and push you to be all you can be, that such a big difference could be made, and one life saved. I also love that it's told in Clarice's voice, well written voice... if you read it you'll see what I mean! I've become addicted to audio books, out library has just gone live with Eaudio book downloads from Bolinda Audio. I listened to On the Jellicoe road by Melina Marchetta. Such a well written intricate tale of a young girl trying to understand the mysteries of her life. Don't be fooled by the "Teenage" fiction tag, I love her books and like I said before, that was 1/2 my life ago! Eve Ensler's I am an emotional creature was also a truly inspiring read, makes me feel like I'd love to work with teenage girls, to make a difference in their lives (though ask me again in 10 or so years time when I have two teenage girls of my own!) I love the monologue style of Eve Ensler's work (they are written as plays/spoken word pieces to be performed rather than just read) I think she is such a brave writer... and she has great hair! Lastly, I'm currently reading Girls to the front: the true story of the Riot Grrrl revolution by Sarah Marcus. Loving it! But feel a bit sad that 20 years on we still have such huge issues with Bullying, Body image and sexual harassment. I found this great sign? picture? note? on the Bust website the other day which shows me the spirit of Riot Grrrl is still alive... Gotta love Bust! But back to the book, I managed to miss out on Riot Grrrl until about '95 when it had all become so mainstream that it lost it's soul and the original Riot Grrrls had lost faith in their original concepts. Maybe I was too young, or maybe it was a geographical thing I don't know but I love the spirit of the movement, the DIY aspects that I think will never happen again now that we've got the net to make all that stuff too easy for us. My brand of feminism suits the Riot Grrrl style. I like taking the boys on at their own game!

Rollin'...

I finally made it to my first VRDL Bout last night and I have to say... I am in love!

Next weekend when the boy is gone and the girls are out of my hair I'm gonna strap on the skates for the first time in about 7 years (apart from that one spin around the kitchen!) and see if I've still got what it would take!!!

I love the fact that there was such a huge range of female forms on display, and that it's all about the talent and having a ball! I love the DIY aspect of it, I love that these girls are celebrated for being tough, sexy and athletic.

Oh Yeah... I just remembered the story of my first time on Roller Skates. My (four years older than me) brother got a pair of those adjustable skates you put over your shoes, I asked to have a go but my mum said I was too little... so after my brother got bored with struggling with it, I nicked the skates and took them over to my dad to adjust for me, apparently mum looked out the window and I was up skating straight away!

Hope you like her...

Coz she's gonna be around for a while!!!

She was done today by Jane Laver from Chapel Tattoo and I love her!!!

Good friends and Sharpies...

I am blessed with some terrific friends in my life, and I have always tried to keep up with them on a regular basis, I don't know if its a needy insecurity thing in me or what but I am starting to understand that quality over quantity and that thing about letting them go and if they come back and also that the whole thing is a two way street and phew... can I come up with anymore tacky affirmative assertions?

But that quality over quantity thing is what I'm having to live my life by at the moment and I've had two such experiences of late that definitely fall under the quality category.

I went to see one of my favourite authors, Armistead Maupin, with one of my favourite friends S, also a fellow fan. In fact I think we may have bonded over our mutual love for the man... oh my god 15 years ago!!! But it was just such a lovely evening, went to see him DJ first, then had a lovely curry, and although we ran into a lot of people we both know including my brother (though that wasn't exactly a run into) we got to spend a few good solid hours just catching up. No kiddy distractions, No crowds of people viying for mine or... mostly his attention. Ahhh Bliss!

The other really great friendship experience of late was with the lovely JA. I had contacted Greg MacAinsh (of Skyhooks fame!) about using his short film of the Sharpies he made in 1974 at my event (more on that later). He made me a high quality DVD copy and I was to go pick it up from his house which is near JA's and she is the one person who would understand that hey, this is actually quite a big deal! Turns out the day I ended up going over there she had, um, well, lets just say she was 'under the weather' and leave it at that. So we walked on over from hers and spent a good 1/2 hour in really interesting conversation with a real life Aussie songwriting legend! We even managed to somehow steer the conversation to JA's current love of her life Joan Jett... And we were so good and NOT groupie like, in fact when he went to answer his phone (Ring tone = Gary Glitter's Rock and Roll part 2!) we didn't leave our seats and only craned our heads to snoop around!!!

So the Sharpies event went well, other than a minor technical difficulty and the fact that I was trying to do it all myself so was running around like a mad woman whilst trying to be the talent as well! (We had it as an 'in conversation' piece which was great but I shouldn't have been trying to do everything else too! typical me!!). Anyways despite the fact that I cant really remember what was said as its all went by in such a blur, the night was really well received and I met some really interesting people including Chane Chane, lead singer of 70's Aussie Punk/Sharpie band LaFemme who we managed to convince to give us a lesson in the Sharpie Shuffle... gee I hope someone got that on film!! Film maker Rebecca McLean who showed us a couple of her films and even someone who's mum wrote the book the Delinquents, yep the one made into the film with Kylie. I'm pretty proud of the whole event to be honest and not to blow my own trumpet too much!!!

DoooDoDO! (that was supposed to be a trumpet noise... OK shut up now!)

Taking notes...?

Last night I went out... properly out with like drinks and dancing and going to clubs with a cover charge and staying out past the pumpkin hour! Crazy I know!! It was celebrating my equal best Friend C's birthday and we had a hotel room to retire to and all... But like the typical librarian I am, I found the need to take notes on the evening in order to share it with all of you, Here's what I woke up to on my phone this morning which I will then attempt to translate...


Ironic dancing, hair styler straightenerin toilet that was weird, khocolate bar melbournes home r & b old scool beats, high heels, don't move feet $12 entry, what was that club in st kilda retro club???? Can't talk, 10, maybe 15 years ago, since I was a student. Dj wants to be a radio anoucer what the fuck is thatanoucinh the song over the track, since when do they do that though the club we went to in my student days seemed to just play the same mixed tape every night, grease megamix followed by Lenny are you gonna go my way! And that friggin sirraid siren what's that all about?oh and then some people in dress ups came in...um they just played ice Ice baby didn't I request that once at a blue light disco?friggin hens nights don't ever let me get married.twister. Then we got taken to another club with the promise of 80's music and $5 to get in and all I got was pointer sisters being very excited then they played all the same songs as the other place except ice icebaby which would have redeemed the situation, rockin the cazbar nowok gotta sit down now too old for this shit, there's Billy Jean again...oh yeah that's what I was going to say, club that looks all plush in the dark but you know would be all sad inThe lightwhats going on I don't smokebut it smelled so good what's with that?policeman just came to talk to me do I look that pathetic? remindsne of that time the bartender told me the bouncer said to keep an eye on me because they thought I was out of it when I wadjust tiredthen they played Mel n Kim respectable and got me up again tren yazz then when salt n proa came on all was forgiven Sent from my iPhone

Ironic dancing (Two of C's friends were masters of the ironic dance which I am most appreciative of... cant stand those who take themselves too seriously)
hair styler straightenerin toilet that was weird, (See picture below, in the ladies toilet there was a hair straightener that you could put $2 into to use... weirdest part about it is that nobody else battered an eyelid at this!)
khocolate bar melbournes home r & b old scool (school) beats (Club we went to),
high heels, don't move feet(I was amazed at the height if some of the heels on the ladies, I am a flatty girl myself, 'cept for my cowboy boots with their cuban style heel, oh and my fake maribou slippers, anyways I'm always amazed at how the ladies walk on these instruments of torture let alone dance. What I observed is that you just don't move your feet but confine your dance moves to your upper body)
$12 entry,(we were all a little horrified, but it's been a long time so I just figure that's what you pay these days, others in the group were not so gracious and just left... a little rude me thinks when your out with a group)
what was that club in st kilda retro club???? (I was thinking back to my 'clubbing' days, I say 'clubbing' the most broadest sense of the word as we used to go to some of the daggiest places possible)
Can't talk, (not literally, i think this was refering to the bagging out of the said club that I was doing in my head, then thinking of the places we used to frequent - see last explanation)
10, maybe 15 years ago, since I was a student. (was thinking of how long it had been since I'd been out like this)
Dj wants to be a radio anoucer what the fuck is thatanoucinh (announcing) the song over the track, since when do they do that (the DJ was sooooo irritating announcing the tracks and stuff)
though the club we went to in my student days seemed to just play the same mixed tape every night, grease megamix followed by Lenny are you gonna go my way! (this is true... same songs in the same order, every time we went. The only ones I remember though are the Grease Megamix was always followed by Lenny Kravitz 'Are you gonna go my way' which made me happy, oh and they always played this really dirty version of that 'Wiggle Wiggle' song)
And that friggin sirraid (air raid) siren what's that all about?oh and then some people in dress ups came in...um they just played ice Ice baby didn't I request that once at a blue light disco?friggin hens nights don't ever let me get married. (Is all of this self explanatory?)
twister. (That was the name of that 80's 'club' we used to go to in St Kilda ALL the time that I couldnt remember the name of)
Then we got taken to another club (Chaise Lounge) with the promise of 80's music and $5 to get in and all I got was pointer sisters being very excited then they played all the same songs as the other place except ice icebaby which would have redeemed the situation, rockin the cazbar nowok gotta sit down now too old for this shit, there's Billy Jean again...oh yeah that's what I was going to say, club that looks all plush in the dark but you know would be all sad inThe lightwhats going on I don't smokebut it smelled so good what's with that?(walking to the next bar I had 1/2 a cigarette, I don't smoke and I hate smoking but it just smelled so good that I don't know what came over me!)
policeman just came to talk to me do I look that pathetic? (Some police came into the bar while I was sitting on one of the couches on my own having a bit of a rest, just came up to me and asked how my night was and who I was here with, probably just looking out for girls who were on their own)
remindsne (reminds me) of that time the bartender told me the bouncer said to keep an eye on me because they thought I was out of it when I wadjust tired (This one time I was just exhaustedly tired and layed on the chair to have a little power nap, the bouncer must have thought I was really out of it and told the bartender to get me out of there, I wasn't, I was just tired and he knew I was no trouble, just old me maybe not to lay down as the bouncers were watching me. You think back to your student/going out days and think; 'If I was that tired why the hell was I out at a bar???')
then they played Mel n Kim respectable and got me up again tren (then) yazz (The only way is up!)then when salt n proa (Pepa - Push it, one of my favourite songs of all time)
came on all was forgiven
Sent from my iPhone (Emailed to myself as I figured these really profound thoughts and observations should never be forgotten...)

Another Day, Another Rant...

OK so we had a 4 year old birthday party on Saturday. It was at Macca's, which I don't have any moral or big corporate evil giant objection too... in fact I've been known to have the occasional indulge... and they've got free wifi too!

Anyways back to my story...

My Rant is not about the venue, but about the choices some people make, or perhaps they are not making a choice and that's the problem.

Little Miss was sitting next to birthday girl when the happy meals were served. She spied Little Misses Apple Juice...

Birthday Girl: "I want some of *****'s Drink"

Birthday Girls Mum: "No ****, Your having Coke"

BG: "But I don't want Coke, I want Apple Juice"

BGM: "No, your having Coke!"

Now, once again, No objection to Coke itself, In fact, once again, I don't mind the occasional tipple myself. I have no big corporate giant Hijacked Santa kind of objection to Coke. I JUST DON'T THINK ITS VERY GOOD FOR LITTLE KIDS!

If your kid wants fruit juice why are you forcing carbonated, caffeine filled, sugar laden, has no kind of natural taste what-so-ever? I'm also not under any illusion that the Apple Juice itself has any less sugar than the Coke, but at least its kind of got some sort of recognisable taste and maybe some hint of nutritional value hidden in there somewhere.

I would never say anything at the party to the other parents but I got all smug and proud of Little Miss when she didn't want any of birthday Girls drink coz it was yucky! Yay you! Yep, won't say anything but will get all ranty about it later! Hypocritical yes, Smug yes, Superior... I don't think I am by any means, but like I said before, of course I think my parenting choices are superior to others or I wouldn't be doing it that way!

Authors I will read anything they write, and probably even buy it because I couldn't wait till the library got it... (now thats dedication!)

• Armistead Maupin
• Augusten Burroughs
• Eve Ensler
• Susan Townsend
• Linda Jaivin
• Christos Tsiolkas
• Nick Hornby
• Elizabeth Wurtzel
• Fiona Horne
• Phyllis Curott
• Mary Karr
• Steve Martin (yep the actor! - who knew hey!)
• Mark Haddon
• Diablo Cody (even though she's only done one book... can I include the films she writes?)
• Naomi Wolf
• Marianne Faithfull (One book makes you a memoirist, two makes you a writer so she makes the list!)

Just about every woman I know needs to read this book...

This is probably one of the most important books Ive read in forever! Screw Inner Beauty or in the States it's just called Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby, two very cool Fat-acceptance advocates. It's all about getting off the dieting bandwagon, listening to your body, accepting yourself as the size you are and finding exercise that is fun and makes you feel good. I think just about every woman I knows should read it... even some of the skinny ones. Oh and the boy too!

Deflated....

I got turned down for another job yesterday. Another one that would have got us closer to our goal of moving back to the country. One that I thought I was perfect for. Feeling quite deflated and finding that it's so much harder than I thought to break back into work with two small children. Maybe C is right that there is a bit of an inherent, subconscious discrimination against women with small children? Or maybe that my confidence is not what it used to be? Or maybe, as everyone keeps saying and I keep trying to tell myself this was not the job for me and something better will come along, blah blah blah...

I thought I'd got past the point in my life where I needed to fight to be taken seriously!

Gorgeous!

Sam from SkinsNSharps describes me as a Gorgeous Gal! Yay!

Honour Library

Came across this Honour Library at Prahran Market whilst on yesterdays play date explorations with the Hawm... Thought it was a bit cute!

Get Set for Mr. S!

This post is dedicated to one of my oldest friends Mr. S. 15 years we have under our belts with narry a cross word between us... well that I can remember either!

He's one of those people that draws interesting people to him and my life would be so much greyer for it not for our friendship!

I'm so proud of him, He's got himself this regular DJ gig on a Sunday afternoon "The Sunday Set" at the Toff in Town.

He is totally in his element and each week there is a theme that all the songs must adhere too. This week's was "Luck" so you've got your Tumbling dice, Lucky Star, Knock on Wood, etc. etc. I love it and would be there every week if I could be.

Here they are in the free rag last year...

He's such a sweety boy and I love him (that Nurofen is kicking in!!!)

P.S. He's single if there's any interested gents out there!!

Red Tenting it...

I'm starting think the idea of having a 'Red Tent' such as they had in biblical times for menstruating women to go it is a great idea! I'm sure the boy would sure appreciate it too! Not only do you get to hide out from the world and not have to lift a finger with your 'sisters' looking after you, but the rest of the world doesn't have to put up with you either!!

I'm such a raggy horrible bitch at the moment... not to say no-one else (eg the boy) is to blame because of course everything is his fault. It always is.

Ive been having some good chats with my doctor recently. She said that people are always wanting to find something physically wrong with them because they don't want to admit they are just tired and maybe doing too much. That has really stuck with me. She also said that I have a lot on my plate what with kids and work and running a household etc. and that I should try and take more time out for myself, I actually feel I've got a little too much time to myself at the moment and too much time to think can be a bad thing!!!

She did test my hormone levels for me though, and of course they were normal, I'm not going through early menopause or have an ectopic pregnancy any of the other things my stupid brain comes up with that I get all obsessed about. I'm just fucking normal! How boring is that!

So I walked home (in the rain) and thought stuff the dishes/washing/total fucking mess that is called my house and the rest of the to do list and I am sitting in bed with my peppermint tea, cheesy teenage novel waiting for my Nurofen plus to kick in and closing the door on the rest of the world!