Sierra!
She’s three weeks old today!
Here’s some thoughts on the past 3 weeks...
I have actually felt a lot more relaxed in the three weeks since she was born than probably the three weeks previous. She’s a very laid back baby... eats, sleeps and shits and thats about it! Oh yeah and she’s also pretty goddamn cute too!!!!
I got myself so stressed about the Caesarean but I’ve been absolutely fine since, I feel so good that I have to remind myself I’m not supposed to be doing certain things or whatever...
The operation itself was one of the strangest experiences of my life, I’ve only had one operation before (and I was knocked out for that one) being fully conscious but not being able to feel anything, and all these people there for little old me! I could see the lady in recovery moving my legs but they didn’t seem attached to my body. One of the other strange parts was that I only saw her for a few minutes, then she was taken away to be checked out and stuff while I was in recovery. So here I am, already having this out of body type experience, and my brain knows I have just had a baby but I can’t seem to comprehend this fact!
Feeding could cause me stress if I let it. I am trying to feed from the boob but don’t seem to be able to satisfy so have to top up with formula when I just can’t handle her hanging off the boob anymore! I have strong feelings about the whole breastfeeding business. I will not deny that breast feeding is most probably best, but it doesn’t work for everyone, I don’t care what the breast Nazi’s say! We have options and no one should ever be made to feel guilty or a lesser parent for utilising any of the options available. There’s talk of how it helps with the bonding process, well how can a stressed out mum and a hungry baby bond more than a contented pair with a bottle in hand? For me, a delicate mix of boob, expressed milk and formula is getting me through, and I figure if I last three months again, then I am doing pretty damn good! Part of me just doesn’t have the patience to sit still for so long with my jugs out!
Now it’s not actually been the newbie that been causing me any stress... its little miss, she regressed to wanting to be like the baby. We’ve had to take evasive action to get the toilet training back on track, and a little strawberry Quik has got us over wanting to have milk in a bottle all the time (lucky she hasn’t figured out you could have pink milk in a bottle too!) I’m doing all those things that the text books and magazines tell me too like making her totally involved with the new baby, she gets her nappies and picks her clothes for the day. She gives her kisses and cuddles and I don’t think it’s a jealousy thing, maybe just a comfort zone thing, or why try hard with all this hard stuff if the baby can just lay there and get the same sort of attention. But we’re getting there, getting a routine of sorts happening. And the electronic baby sitter is getting a workout too!!!
The boy went back to work today and I’ve managed to get through the morning ok!!! Just joking (I have got through the morning ok, Just joking that it needs to be pointed out!!) I’m enjoying some space with no visitors, no boy, two sleeping children and a yummy lunch (out of the freezer!). So I guess things are going along fine... so far!
