All consuming...

I've been a bit lax on the personal blog posts of late...
I've not been able to concentrate on much really, there is something going on, something potentially life changing, something I've been wanting for a long time and it's just consuming my brain...
It involves a lot of waiting, waiting, waiting...
And that's something I'm not really all that good at...
I feel like I'm not in control of the situation and I find that hard to deal with...
Waiting waiting waiting, trying not to think about it make me think about it more...
I'm sending myself crazy and making myself physically sick...
Having to stop myself from making plans about anything that could be effected by it, because if it happens there will be so many plan to make...
But I have to shield myself as well, from possible disappointment, from getting my hopes up, from getting over confident, I've done that before and it was crushing...
And then there's all those other toxic thoughts that seep in too... "what if they didn't get it", "what if they have already picked someone", "what if I'm not good enough", "what if I stuff it all up", "And what if they didn't get it... again"...
I don't like uncertainty...
I can't handle waiting...

I love books about books...

So you can imagine my excitement on finding a book about making books!

Eco Books is full of totally cute crafty projects, among my favourites are ones made from old baggage tags, old floppy discs and cassettes... and of course old library cards!!!

Totally cute... but of course I know deep down inside I will never get around to making any of them!!!

Books Books Books (x3)

I'm about a 3rd of the way through Judith levines Not Buying it, her documentation of a social experiement where her and her husband bought only necessary, simple groceries and essentials (The rules are a little fluid and haircuts and newspapers are allowed). Not as easy as it sounds with such consumer pressure put upon us everyday, and basically, so much crap considered essential in our everyday lives! I love the line about the guy who went to buy a book about de-cluttering and came away with three!

The Not buying it book was kind of in direct contrast with another book I recently read, Susana S.'s Confessions of a city girl. Which takes an insiders look at London's high pressure, money hungry financial markets, no place for a girl... apparently, until Susana came along that is!

In between I read Juliana Hatfields Autobiographical When I grow up. She seems like a really sweet girl with a lot of deamons to air. It's alternating chapters, between documenting the tour she was on with her band at the time Some Girls and detailing past adventures kept the flow moving and stopped the book from getting stale or too bogged down in any one theme. Funny though, while reading this I realise I only actually know two songs that she's done, and one of those was a cover!

You know what...

I could almost be tempted to read a Mills & Boon!