Meltdown memories...

18 months a go I went through a really bad patch, meltdown for want of a better word (no better word really, that's what it feels like!) This happened on a semi-regular basis, every couple of years or so. I know exactly what triggered that particular episode and It was semi-documented in these fine pages? screens? what adjective suits here??
Anyways, the meltdown was caused by a job non-offer (un-interview even) which I had set my sights so high on and thought was my be all end all position and the only way things were going to work out as I felt they needed to. At the time it seriously felt like the end of the world, and it used to piss me off so much when people would say "there is something better out there for you". I hated it because I couldn't see that, and now I hate it more because they were right. Knowing what I know now I know that that job would have been a bad thing for me. Just the physical and emotional reaction it caused in me is enough to know that I was not ready and seeing what I have since seen, well I know that it would have been very bad place for me. I am able to reflect on this time from a position of smugness and satisfaction of where I have found myself and how I got here.
That'll do for now...