A review from a long time ago... thanks! issue #3 sometime soon...

2.5 weeks...

I miss my blog... I found myself a little huffy the other day while planning Webolution 3 and the words "I don't think anyone is interested in blogs anymore" were uttered. Maybe not, but I'll hang on by the skin of my teeth just in case!

This last 6 months has been ridiculous in my life, I naively took on a job that, although not beyond my capabilities, was definatly way more stress than my life needs. I haven't had this many sleepless nights since the bookshop that shall not be named days. But then again at least I'm being paid a decent wage to handle the stress this time.

The temp role finished in 2.5 weeks (and counting), and look, it has been a very useful experience and I've learned a lot. Most significantly that;

a) although I can work at this level, I don't want to work at this level. and;

b) I'm too nice for this job! which has increased the stress levels big time by my not being able to just say "you're out of line" or "that's just not good enough" or "just get your shit together honey!"

I had bigger plans for my time in this role, and I thought I would be able to prove to myself that I was a stronger person than people saw me as, and that I wouldn't let people walk all over me. But then hey, If your dealing with a staff of over 80 and it's only 4 who are driving you crazy then maybe that's a pretty good ratio!

I still feel a little disappointed that It wasn't the experience i'd hoped for, but I'm sure I will be able to look back and say how great it was once I am able to step away from it all. I do like having my own office though!

So anyways, 2.5 weeks and I get to feel like me again. There will be some big changes afoot. and maybe a little bit of getting back to whats important in my life (like actually getting around to writing on my daggy old out of date blog!)

Break in transmission...

I finally give myself the space- both physically and mentally, to write, and I seem to have given myself the old 'block'. You see I don't want this to turn into a big winge fest about poor me... But that's the majority of my emotional state at the moment. The world, along with everybody in it, seems to be driving me crazy (and I'm not even pre-menstral!) There are lights at the end of my tunnel so to speak, but even those are going to mean a compromise of my principles as well as my pride. But I must stay focused, I need to keep my eye on that long term prize, do whats best for me and my family and get over the fact that I might have to let a few people down in that process. I feel there's been a bit of a break in transmission from feeling myself, time to get that back I think!

OK OK lets get on with it and focus on a few positives;

Bought myself some shiny new Red Roller Skates so I guess that means I'm pretty serious about running away with the Derby... that and I got a decent tax return which I need to get my fair share out of before the boy spends it all! I am beating myself up about not doing it sooner, but hey, better late and all that. Made some new friends already including a skunk haired* Drag King who likes to talk about her kidney transplant!

I am also getting myself back into reading at least a book a week, even if it does mean getting up at 6.30 am to fit it in! Last two books I read were pretty good; Norah Vincent's Self Made Man and Thirty something and the clock is ticking by Kasey Edwards which I would consider the most sensible book on motherhood I have ever read!

I also managed to escape for three fabulous hours all on my lonesome today... Imagine it... ALL alone! I even treated myself to a cheeky afternoon glass of wine... ohhh naughty!

Who knows... with all this getting back to me stuff going on, I might even manage to get out Realia #3 sometime in the near to medium future!

*hopefully my new drag king friend has seen Ladies and Gentlemen the fabulous Stains and therefore understands this is most definatly a majorly positive thing!

Thing haven't been great of late. I'm working in a role which is way above my comfort zone. Its a good role and I thought I was ready for it, and i probably am if that is all I had to consider... but of course there is so much more to my life and things never run to plan... I mean who could have predicted the number of resignations we've had in the last few months, and how much extra pressure that puts on me, both because of the job I'm in and the kind of person I am. Ive been laying awake at night thinking about all the things i think i need to be doing... what i need to be doing is looking after myself and my kids... i miss them!!! I can't remember when I had this much stress job-wise going on, I've been pretty lucky in that respect for the past couple of years. All I can say is it is one hell of a learning experience!

exhilarated!!

Tonight I went to my first "fresh meat" training with the Westside derby dolls! I've been umming and ahhing about it for so long wondering if I might have what it would take and guess what... I might! I did pretty good and had a blast! Mind you I was just training and learning a few moves, no scrimmaging for me... but still, I feel amazing! Maybe not so amazing tomorrow, but amazing none the less! I haven't done any serious skating in ages, but I can still skate pretty good, my fitness isn't nearly as bad as I expected, and I eve had a couple of, hey your pretty fast comments come my way! (Tis also amazing how much easier it is to skate in skates that actually fit, not 20 year old ones too sizes too small so guess what I'm doing with my tax return money this year!!)

So guess where I'm heading next Wednesday night then!...

But then there's always got to be a bottom to every high... I have a partner who is totally unsupportive and "thinks it's a stupid idea". For fucks sake, I feel like I'm living with someone who doesn't know me... How can I share my life with someone when I feel like they have no idea who I am? How can that be the recipe for a happy life? It seems the more cool stuff I do and the more I feel back to the old (pre-kids) me, the more depressed I feel about the whole situation... I just don't know how much more I can give?

OK this is now getting all a bit too down and heavy... Back to the derby... this weeks adventure; head down to Rebel sport for my own pads, helmet a and mouthguard...

And yes I have picked out my derby name and no I'm not telling until I register it so in the meantime, enjoy this link to some other library related derby names

Amy Amy Amy...

Goodbye Beautiful, Unconventional, Misunderstood Soul Diva.

I hate to say it because I think your wonderful but you've made the best career move you ever could have. You'll now have the place in legend and history your music deserves...

To the latest member of the 27 club. (Sorry I'm a week late!)

Wet...

I loved this book, I could not put it down, but I'm apprehensive to recommend this book to anyone at the library lest I'm accused of sexual harassment! Or of being a bit pervy, but well... It was great! The "makes the vagina monologues look tame" quote on the front kind of sums up what you can expect... head in if you dare!!!

Radar...

Here's a few things that have been showing up on my (very tired) radar of late!

Earlier this year JA and I took an adventure to an Australian 70's musical legends house under the guise of picking up a DVD for the Sharpies night at the library... Somehow JA managed to steer the conversation, as she steer's all conversations, to the subject of Joan Jett... Said music legend had some stories to tell including one about this band whose lead singer was murdered and Joan Jett got involved with the rest of the band to raise money to hire a private investigator etc. We had never heard this story and were fascinated... here's a movie we've found since...

One of my most recent reads was Portia De Rossi's Unbearable Lightness. If I had to use one word it would be "Intense"! She's certianly not afraid to bear all about her struggles with eating disorders and I've found a new respect for her. Not that I didn't before, to be honest I didnt really feel anything much for her efore other than a, 'oh look, she's on the telly and she grew up in Geelong, thats pretty good' kind of thing...



But I Reading the book made me dig a little deeper and you know what, I think she's pretty great now. I also love that she's out and a whole new role model for gay women who really doesnt fit into the stereotype of what a lesbian should look like, dress like, or be.

So anyway all this looking lead me to Ellen of course and I realised I'd never actually seen the famed "coming out" episode of her sitcom... Here's the last part of it...

And yes it is very cheezy in bits, but also some genius moments too... Oprah as the theripist (apparently she got HEAPS of hate mail!), kd lang as the folk singer/waitress ("Good for you, I'm your waitress") and Melissa Ethridge and the toaster oven! Love it!!

I'd seen the Maysles documentary of Grey Gardens a few years ago and became a little fascinated with the story. I finally got to see the tellemovie biopic of it made last year with Drew Barrymore (who I love!). I was a little sceptical about it but I think they did a brilliant job. Drew nailed the voice and the ageing make up was done amazingly!

I've out this clip on which was an extra on the DVD, it shows some of the scenes from the original and the recreations... Enjoy!

And here's a book I've been meaning to write about for ages... The girl in the song a look at 50 classic pop songs and the muses behind them... and it's got Marianne on the cover!

You know I love a good prossie book, and although the Belle De Jour books might not be the best ones, well I love the TV show as a bit of light trash so of course was very happy to find this interview with Miss Billie and the 'Real' Belle De Jour, outed in the last few years...

This one was a little bit of a disappointment, I expected it to be juicier, but still some interesting stories...

And Last but not least... I have to mention Go the f*ck to sleep!

Here's former Play School host Noni reading it... enjoy!

Celebrities in Williamstown...

Well I guess when the Banner says "you belong @ HBL" I don't really have much chance of getting a job anywhere else hey!?

Insecure...

I'm feeling a bit flat at the mo... Started a new, Full Time, Full On role which I will be in for the next 5 months, It's good, or it will be when I get a handle on everything I need to know and don't need to ring up Library Jo every 5 seconds for little stupid things I should be able to figure out for myself if I wasn't feeling so overwhelmed by the whole world! Right now I have the desire to hid under the blankets until it all goes away!

The other thing I'm feeling a bit crap about is; I entered this Zine challenge thing where you had to make a zine in a week based around Eurovision. It was right when I started back full time and I really did make a crap awful Zine which I feel a bit embarrassed about now. I received the zine pack in the mail today, and all though I've only looked at 3 so far I am feeling like I should have put a lot more effort into it, and feel like all my ideas were VERY un-original and well, just a bit crap! Some of these Zines are FANTASTIC... pity I haven't got much reading time at the mo!

I'll get over it and myself soon enough...

Mummy Manners...

I had higher expectations of this book... I used to love Elle McFeast and thought this would provide a bit of bitchy fun to get one through the fraught minefield that is the Mothers Group, Playground etiquette, Child's birthday parties and the like. But to be honest it gets a bit boring after the first 5 minutes. At first I liked the LCSH type subject headings but that too gets very boring and really just makes it look like she's trying to be too cleaver for her own good!

I just don't think it brings anything new to the table. And managed to piss me off... Inferring that a woman's greatest achievement will always be her kids, and that the other reason a woman would go back to work is financial. Goddess forbid she make like her own life, or her career may be also of importance, or daddy could stay home, or she may need to go out to work to keep her sane! And you can send your kids to childcare for reasons other than you have to go to work for financial reasons and NOT EVERYONE FEELS GUILTY ABOUT THAT! And maybe I'm just a bit tired and over sensitive and over analyzing what s supposed to be a comedy book!

More reviews...

I've been such a bad blogger of late... Lucky others are writing about me! THANKS!

From Sticky's 'Sporadic Correspondence from the institute'

REALIA #2
HotRod Librarian
$1.50
www.hotrodlibrarian.blogspot.com
Loving the recycled book cover but i really feel the need to re-recycle it into art; maybe later once i have fully digested the information inside. Can fully understand where this one is coming from as i am writing this review while sat in a house being a housewife in the suburbs far enough from the city that i feel totally isolated. Like i said i really know where this one is coming from but all the swearing actually written down is pretty harsh. What strikes me about this writer is that she really really has plenty to say and its straight up to the point personal hard hitting honesty. She really wants to share her motherly wisdom to help the rest of us feel better about things. Certainly not sitting on the fence this hot rod librarian has got some things to say about bringing up children properly. I must say i agree with pretty much everything in the zine and anything that makes me laugh out loud is good news living out here in the suburbs. I'll definitely not cut up the cover to make more art works but i might follow the directions on how to make my own play dough!
-KESWICKLEMON

Looky here!

Another Review!

P.S. issue #2 on childhood is done, trouble is I cant remember who I have and haven't posted it to yet!!! (FT work is killing the brain cells!) so if you get two, sorry, pass it on to someone! If you haven't got one in a week or so... tell me!
Love me.

Seems almost everyones favourite part of my zines has been the cute rubber stamp of the girl reading the book...

Her name is Kosheshi and she's from Talk to the Sun on Etsy.

Tis the little things...

I'm working full time at the moment... It's the first time in about 6 years and things are a little insane in my household to say the least, what with 2 kiddies, household renovations and the boy trying to get over his feelings of emasculation (is that even a word!) as I earn a (lot more) money than him and want him to go part time and take over the majority of the household chores. (this has been my dream for such a long time... it's part allergies to all kinds of domestic work and part revenge for the last 4 years!!!) I've just got to convince him it was his idea!!! (hey where would modern day relationships be without some form of subtle manipulation!) Not to mention how It's eating into my blogging time!

Anyways, I know it's maybe a little politically incorrect to say it, but I LOVE being back to full time, and now I've found out that I'm going to be doing it for another 5 months in a job I've been eyeing off since I started at the library so I'm feeling a bit smug and pleased with myself! It's hard and I'm exhausted but I've found a few ways to make it work;

Don't plan too much! My first weekend/Tuesday morning off I tried to cram sooo much in, bad move, was exhausted before I even got to work!

Get the kids to bed early! They are so exhausted from childcare anyways it's not too hard.

And/Or palming off the kids for a night/weekend... the trick is to show the G'ma's how this is more convenient for them as it saves them having to get up at 5.30am to be here fro babysitting days!

The Dishwasher! She has been in my life just shy of two months and I am in LOVE!

Fortnightly massages... oh this is bliss, I won't be able to continue it too much longer but it is getting my body back on track and giving me 1/2 hour of not having to think time!

Setting my alarm 20 mins early so I can sit in bed with my coffee and read instead of trying to do make up/get dressed/drive whilst scoffing it down (note to self: this only works on child free mornings!)

Other things that are making me happy at the moment include;

Packets of Zines coming in the mail that I'd forgotten I'd ordered!

Finishing Sticky's 168 challenge with minimal amount of stress!

Chatting to G online and realising that her idea of lovely spring weather in Edinburgh was the same temp as me winging about it becoming a cold winter here! I still miss Edinburgh though!

Meeting my newest little friend in a whirlwind of craziness... hope to get to know him in a calmer environment next time.

Naughty email chats to Best Friend C through work email... well she works in a library too, so it's work related!

Talking books in the car on the way to work!

Look...
My first ever review!!

Put down that weapon and pick up the sticks

I've been neglecting my knitting recently... What with all the zine making and working full time and all that but now the winter is settling in, peak knitting season is about to begin!

Here’s some instructions for my latest creation that is not actually finished and therefore I can’t actually testify for this as an actual workable pattern but I’d rather you just took a little inspiration and just made it up for yourself anyway...

Hotrodlibrarians super hot knitted tool belt thingi

1. Find yourself a knitting teacher and or good book and give it a go.

2. CO about, I don’t know, 20 stitches or so... I’m gonna felt this coz I love felting and coz it covers up any little mistakes nicely... but remember that felting shrinks things by nearly ½ so make it a fair bit bigger than you actually want it to be.

3. Keep King or K1 P1 if you want (I’m just knitting coz I want a bit of texture after the felting but thats just me) until it wraps around your waist almost 2 times.

4. Im finishing off my belt bit in a point by K2tog at the start and finish of every second line but you finish it off however you want to...

5. I’m now getting onto King about 5 or 6 pockets of varing sizes that I’m then going to stictch onto the belt maybe before I felt it or maybe I’ll just felt them all at the same time and stitch them on later, I haven’t decided yet.

6. Im then gonna cut a button hole in my pointy bit (yet another good thing about felting is that you can cut it and it (theoretically) can handle it.)

7. Then Im gonna sew some funky buttons on so that its kind of opposite to a regular belt where you’d have one button and lots of holes. I’m gonna put a few buttons on to cover for fluctuating weight/period bloating/crappy sewing skills that will probably see the buttons put in the wrong spot.

8. Wear with pride to stash all your Knit graffiti parafinalia/Roller skating tools/weapons of mass distruction.

Sticky Star!

Tiny things and all that...

Well they do say tiny things please tiny minds...

But I always get a laugh when you come across an unfortunate call number!!