Sadness - That the first thing I ever really felt good at is not such a big part of my life anymore.
Bitterness - That I never really took it as far as I could go with it, you see I was on the verge of the digital age and I just never really made the changeover which rendered me virtually useless for any kind of commercial work.
Guilt - That I spent all this time and money what with three years at uni and all that and never did all that much with it.
A bit stupid - because I was young and arrogant and gonna do all this stuff and be a rich and famous Rock and Roll photographer!
Embarrassment - when ever anyone asks me if I'm still doing any photography and I have to admit all I do is take a few happy snaps on the Instamatic.
But also...
Kind of proud of some of the things I did do with it.
I put on this exhibition at the Malthouse in Melbourne then at Saffs Cafe in Castlemaine. I funded the whole thing myself and although I didn't actually sell anything (I did give a lot of them away though) I had heaps and heaps of positive feedback and it was kind a really cool final bow to my photography career!
There was also a few other uni exhibitions, this was from the catalogue of one...
This one was published in a magazine called "Works on Paper" but I cant remember what the details were surrounding it...
I contributed a lot to the youth magazine VoiceWorks, here's one of them...
This one also made into VW but they only print in black and white so it lost a fair bit in the translation, here's the original...
I cant remember what this one was published in but its one of my favourites (even if I'm not friends with the Girl in the Supermarket anymore!)...
These next few were in a short lived magazine called "Witchcraft" which brings up another of my past lives (later OK!)...
And this is one of the ones I'm most proud of, It was in BLUE magazine which was the queer spin off of Black&White magazine...
Last but not least, I had this one made into a postcard which I used instead of a business card, Ive still got about 500 of them if anyone wants one!!!
So there you go, here spells the end of an Era that probably really ended about 10 years ago anyway... hope you've enjoyed my dip into one of my past lives!
4 comments:
Your mum says you need to get over the guilt, embarrassment, sadness and all those other negative feelings and you have done many positive things in your life and your early years at uni were in no way a waste.............we are very proud of you and your achievements xo
I agree with your mum!
and... you have an eye for it, not everyone has that. You may find later when your nest is empty that you can build on those skills with something that hasn't been invented yet!
Alli! you did so much great things! think about all the travel, so many people just talk about it but you did it!!! photography the same, you did the expos and some commercial stuff while some just dream and don't do anything. come on, give yourself credit for all the things you did do (which is lots) you're not superwoman (no one is, well apart from superwoman, but i heart she only exists in the world of marvel comics). you're not 90 years old yet, when the girls go to school you'll find some more time for you (really !) and actually can start doing more for yourself (and not just housework).
No worries my friend! lots of hugs and kisses from me xxx
...wow, this seems to be a sense of closure you are experiencing, why does that have to be so sad? you have that photographer eye and delve into something unique and beautiful, albeit many years ago. In some years to come, maybe photography will come to you again..
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