(One of my...) Past Lives

I Just listed my enlarger for sale on Ebay. I have been meaning to sell it for a couple of years, I haven't used it for at least 5 years, But it was still a really hard thing to do. I guess it's a real acknowledgement that that part of my life is truly over which brings up all sorts of emotions.

Sadness - That the first thing I ever really felt good at is not such a big part of my life anymore.

Bitterness - That I never really took it as far as I could go with it, you see I was on the verge of the digital age and I just never really made the changeover which rendered me virtually useless for any kind of commercial work.

Guilt - That I spent all this time and money what with three years at uni and all that and never did all that much with it.

A bit stupid - because I was young and arrogant and gonna do all this stuff and be a rich and famous Rock and Roll photographer!

Embarrassment - when ever anyone asks me if I'm still doing any photography and I have to admit all I do is take a few happy snaps on the Instamatic.

But also...

Kind of proud of some of the things I did do with it.

I put on this exhibition at the Malthouse in Melbourne then at Saffs Cafe in Castlemaine. I funded the whole thing myself and although I didn't actually sell anything (I did give a lot of them away though) I had heaps and heaps of positive feedback and it was kind a really cool final bow to my photography career!

There was also a few other uni exhibitions, this was from the catalogue of one...

This one was published in a magazine called "Works on Paper" but I cant remember what the details were surrounding it...

I contributed a lot to the youth magazine VoiceWorks, here's one of them...

This one also made into VW but they only print in black and white so it lost a fair bit in the translation, here's the original...

I cant remember what this one was published in but its one of my favourites (even if I'm not friends with the Girl in the Supermarket anymore!)...

These next few were in a short lived magazine called "Witchcraft" which brings up another of my past lives (later OK!)...

And this is one of the ones I'm most proud of, It was in BLUE magazine which was the queer spin off of Black&White magazine...

Last but not least, I had this one made into a postcard which I used instead of a business card, Ive still got about 500 of them if anyone wants one!!!

So there you go, here spells the end of an Era that probably really ended about 10 years ago anyway... hope you've enjoyed my dip into one of my past lives!

Love this Journal I saw at TYPO today...

Space... the final frontier...

I think what I am literally needing in my life is Virginia Woolfe's metaphorical Room of one's own... (or am I metaphorically craving the literal, not really sure anymore!)

I just don't get a lot of space anymore!

One of my happiest living spaces was my little flat overlooking Princess Park in North Carlton, it's the only time I've really lived on my own and I loved it!

Now I share a bedroom, I used to have the spare room where MY bed is to escape to when I needed a little space or couldn't sleep, now that Bubbaista's room (note to any overnight guests, your very welcome as long as you don't mind a roommate!), we have a study, which I thought I could have made mine is taken over by the boys ever expanding collection of hunting and camping equipment which cant possibly live in the shed! And anyone who has little kids will know that you cant even pop into the toilet for a little quiet time since little miss grew tall enough to reach the door handles!

And I no longer have nap times to look forward too either!

Maybe it's just this week because I've been sick and so going to bed super early I don't get that night time me time (and my pile of DVD's is growing too!).

I know that time flies and it wont be long till I'll be complaining and suffering from empty nest syndrome when my kids wont want to know me, but for now... maybe I'll have one more crack at cleaning the study up and maybe do a tape line down the middle... just half a room will do me!

New Years Resolutions...

Here's my New Years Resolutions...

-Be more organised
-Get a new tattoo
-Eat well and exercise
-Move back to the country
-Get a new job (should be above the previous resolution
-Blog more (please note: it's already the 4th of Jan before I'm even posting my resolutions... not a great start!)

I was reading something recently about someone who felt that whatever you do on New Years Day would set the tone for the year... so it looks like this year will see me;

-grumpy from lack of sleep and a messy house
-doing housework
-getting frustrated with the kiddies and the boy
-grocery shopping
-not winning tatslotto
-watching crappy Hollywood movies

Happy 2011!

La La ink...

I've been catching up on my LA Ink's... I don't have pay TV so rely on the DVD's from the library so do absolutely realise I am about 2 years behind the times on LA Ink gossip... well, get over it!

I am very disappointed by the turn the show has taken, I have just finished the Collection 7 DVD which I think is the series 3 or 4 maybe? Anyways they have got rid of Kim and my absolute favourite Hannah because apparently they were not popular enough and now its just a revolving soap opera of stupid shop politics and dumb shop assistants who they obviously only have for the drama and chicks with way scary make up! Instead of focusing on the clients and the reasons behind the tattoo's they choose... but of course being the hypocrite I am, I'm still completely addicted and just put in my purchase request for collection 8 which is released in a week!



I also broke my own rules and went and purchased a book instead of getting the library to get it for me (That's twice in the last month you know!!) and bought the Tattoo Chronicles just because I wanted to and now I'm more and more desperate for another tattoo and, um, yeah!

Good KK Score!

I scored good with my Kris Kringle present this morning Whoever got me knows me well! But what they may not realise is that I am contemplating... well not contemplating, Planning a Library related tattoo for real!

It's been way too long, 8 years in fact since I have been tattooed and I think it would do wonders for my self esteem and make me feel like me again!!! Just waiting for an appointment now, but in the mean time, hoping someone will buy me this for Christmas...

It was twenty years ago today...

That one of the most defining moments of my life happened.

I broke my Pelvis...

On a Flying Fox...

Two days before Christmas...

At my parents staff Christmas Party...

Talk about a pain in the arse... LITERALLY!

So here's what happened: My dad had built a flying fox, it was one that you sat in and for some reason, rather than the cage part being down the bottom of the run, someone had tied it to the top. So up the ladder I go, sit in the cage/seat thing, untie and I'm off... all I remember is looking back and seeing that the knot was going to get caught, next thing I'm on the ground. My friend went to get my mum and I was walked back up to the house. As I said, this was during my parents staff Christmas party so they took me upstairs to the bed until things settled down a bit. Everybody was relatively calm, including me! though we could tell that I had broken my arm there didn't really seem to be anything else majorly wrong, though i did have a bit of an ache in my hip. Even when I was taken into the hospital the doctor said " I can see that she's broken her arm but I think she's just bruised her hip or she would be in more pain, but I'd better X-ray it anyway." Turned out my Pelvis was broken in two places... kind of lucky she X-rayed it as an afterthought hey! So I had to spend 3 weeks in hospital, the first 10 days flat on my back not allowed to move. Not so great for a 15 year old, Christmas in hospital and my whole school holidays gone.

I had also organised to change schools at that time so I had to start a new school, on crutches, weird crutches too because of my broken arm and having no kind of plaster on my body I got many comments of "You don't need crutches for a broken arm you know..." and the like. That was a really hard time, it took me a good 6 months to find where I fitted in at that school and spent a lot of time on my own. Had my first kind of meltdown where I couldn't stop crying and had to call mum up by recess because I couldn't handle being there. 15 is a very fragile age and all of this did not make it easy to make friends and find where I fitted in, which I think was my motivator for changing schools in the first place, that searching for where I fitted. ( I don't think I ever actually found that until my twenties anyway! guess I was just in too much rush).

So I obviously have a high pain tolerance, I remember saying to mum when I found out about the Pelvis "I thought when you broke a bone you were automatically supposed to cry" as that had been my observation at school, even all the tough boys cried when they broke their arms! The doctor also said to mum when looking at my arm X-rays "she's broken this arm before, I can see a bend in the smaller bone (Ulna I think it is?) where its been broken before".. I don't ever remember breaking my arm!!! though its very possible, I was quite a climber!

I cant believe that was 20 years ago! I can remember a lot of it like yesterday! guess I'm getting old hey!

Left the building...

Last night I watched Banksy's Exit through the gift shop, it was great, supposed to be a doco about this eccentric guy who was obsessed with filming street artists and eventually constructing this persona of "Mr. Brainwash" (Thierry) who becomes a "street artist" himself... More like Banksy's construct, his latest joke on the art world if you ask me! (I have found the word "Prankumentry" when doing my very detailed Internet searching over the last couple of minutes!) And if he did sell a million dollars worth of "Art" just by the construct of hype and and a factory style process of creating said Art then good on him, stick it to the man I say... Go Banksy!!

Rod Hadfield tries his best to take out the starter;-)

Something else that really pisses me off...

People who post those status updates on facebook that go something like...

October is cancer month. In memory of every cancer patient, family member and
friend who has lost their battle with cancer and in honor of those who continue to conquer it! Put this up for 1 hour if you love someone who has or had cancer.

And then there are the ones who try to get you to do it by inducing guilt...

Every person has 1000 wishes. A cancer patient only has one; to get better. I know that 97% of people will not post this as their status, but I hope that my friends will be one of the 3% who do ~ even for just one hour ~ in honour of those who never won the battle, and for those who are still fighting

Now I can imagine if I actually had cancer this would actually really piss me off... maybe you could give that person a ring or send them a message to let them know you are thinking of them? or maybe donate a couple of bucks to an organisation that actually does something about it?

Or this recent one...

Until December 7th change your profile picture to one of a cartoon character from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. The objective of this is not to see any human face on facebook, but an invasion of memories for the fight against Violence to Children. Remember we were kids too...

I mean really, who the hell is that actually going to help? sure it might be a bit of fun but how is changing your profile picture in anyway going to fix anything? don't pretend your saving the world via facebook, because then you get this...

READ CAREFULLY! The group asking everyone to change their profile picture to their favorite cartoon character is actually a group of peadophiles doing it because kids will accept their friend request faster if they see a cartoon picture. It has NOTHING to do with ChildViolence/NCPCC. It was on a show that warns you about internet frauds PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THI

Well, people changing their picture to or from a cartoon character is not going to change or contribute to this either!!

But I did get a kick out of this one...

Copy this and put it in your status if you know someone or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don't know anyone or even if you've just heard of someone who doesn't know anyone then do still copy this. It's important to spread the message... Oh, and the hearts! ♥♥♥♥♥♥ For...**** sake, don't forget the hearts! ♥♥♥♥♥♥

And have you ever noticed its always the same people who do this that send you those god damn annoying chain emails... forward this to 20 million of your friends in the next 5 minutes or something bad will happen sometime in your life, well guess what, I'd rather risk the bad luck than risk pissing off my friends!!!

Take note people!!

Battle of the planets...

This was my favourite show as a kid! (I always thought it was called Gforce which could have been my memory or could have been just a different name it was televised under here.)


I so wanted to be princess... she rode a motorcycle and kicked arse! Now where are the role models like that for little girls these days hey!! (of course it may have actually been inappropriately violent too... but I've turned out OK... haven't I?!)

Sharpies...

Just finished Rage: a sharpies journal by Julie Mac, Twas alright, but you know me, would prefer it was written as a memoir. I wonder why she decided to fictionalise her teen years? (she says that all the names and people are the same), maybe so she's got an escape clause or coz of all the illegal stuff they did! It's worth a read though if you've got a soft spot for the odd counter culture and always wanted to be part of a gang but never got the chance... The diary style kind of works too because although it can get to be a little tedious at times, well so can being a teenager and this book captures that mood nicely. I'm hoping I can get her to come speak at the library!!

P.S. Love the back cover quote; "it was a time when fighting, spewing, pashing, rooting, dodging the cops and stooging the ticket inspectors were all in a nights work..."

And while we're on the subject... or if you think I'm talking about texta's, enjoy this 1974 short film by Greg McAinish (Skyhooks.)

And here's another one from 2003 which I saw at ACMI a while back called Suburban Warriors by Rebecca McLean.

The Blackburn South Sharpes even have their own website... does anyone want to buy me one of their T shirts or Conny's for Christmas???

Tis the season...

I think one of the things that really shits me about Christmas is just the mass expectation! I've never been a big fan but I'm starting to come round a little bit these days, maybe I'm just getting a bit soppy in my old age, or maybe having kids kind of makes it fun again... Or it could be that the year slips by so quickly at the moment and I am missing people birthdays left right and centre that I am starting to make a bigger deal out of Christmas.

But I am trying to make it a little more personal, making gifts and the like... Like these!

I got the Idea from the fabulous BUST magazine. and its so easy! A 1 Litre Jar, 1 1/3 cup of SR Flour, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup white sugar, 1 cup choc bits and 1 and a bit cups rolled oats (fill to the top of the jar) and download the instructions here...

Foxy lady...

I made it into the wonderful Outre Gallery today for the final day of the exhibition celebrating the work and life of my favourite artist and one of my all time favourite people, Vali Myers. I chose not to got to the opening, too many hangers on and wannabes... I knew her well, but have many regrets that I didn't hang out with her more and passed up an offer to visit her valley in Italy. I got very emotional today, seeing her journals and jewellery on display and not on her. But it is lovely to see her recognised and the gallery is planning to bring out another book on her life next year so I cant wait!

It's been way too long...

Well hey there, it's been a while!

Sorry about that, my brain, confidence and, hmmm, everyday functioning went into lock down mode for a while there... but I'm back and I'm feeling good, well most of the time and I guess that's all you can ask!!!

So lets see... what have I been doing (apart from having a meltdown and losing all perspective!!!)

Reading... Lots of "sequels" or follow-ups to thoroughly enjoyed books; Cleaving by Julie Powell, Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, Booky wook 2 by Russell Brand and at the moment The Romantic by Kate Holden, which I am enjoying despite how clingy, insecure and needy she seems to be, but then I have also been a solo traveller in a strange land and understand the issues this can arouse (I just didn't have her talent for picking up guys I guess!!!).

Have also read some crap books (At home with the Templetons by Monica McInerny, I knew it wasn't going to be my thing when I read the words "family saga" on the back! But then again I only really read it because of the connection to the ol' home town (see previous post)). Then there was the self-published one that I bought off an acquaintance because I believe in supporting people in their artistic pursuits but, oh my god it was so self indulgent with sooo many mistakes and bad grammar and maybe I am not one to talk and maybe its just some cool writing technique like some sort of beat poet type thing and maybe I'm just not smart and cool enough to get and maybe... maybe its just bad... so no names mentioned there OK!

And then there was one BRILLIANT one! Armstead Maupin's Mary Anne in Autumn which I devoured in, I want to say one day but it was more like 26 hours!!! he did not disappoint, well no he did, because it had to finish!

Ive also seen some movies; Joan Rivers: a piece of work (best joke; on (whether men go for brains or beauty) "well I never heard of a man putting his hand up a girls skirt looking for a library card"!), Get him to the Greek (soooo much better than Forgetting Sarah Marshall though it did get a little tired by the end), The No. 1 ladies detective agency (well a T.V. Show I know but still great), Kick Ass (would have been crap if it wern't for Hit Girl, who can resist an 11 year old crime-fighting chick calling everyone 'motherfuckers' and 'cunts'), Eat, Pray, Love (Cheesy I know, but had to be done, and thoroughly enjoyable except for the fact that they do, literally ride off into the sunset!!!)

Sucked up to the lady who got my dream job (was thinking we would go for a coffee, come out of it best friends with her begging to be my mentor, instead, sat in the workroom chatting for 20 minutes with her promising to keep me in mind...). Worked a week of full time last week (loved it!!! loved being back at the old branch and feeling useful) which was great considering work is about the only place where I actually feel confident and in control at the moment!

And I've been "working on me"... ohhh how tacky does that sound!!! But I have, I've been seeing a psychologist and went back on some medication that I thought I didn't need anymore but turns out actually did help! and just trying to look after myself and stand up for myself more... and take myself out for lunch at The famous blue raincoat which always helps!!!

James Freud died today.

Apparently he killed himself.

I feel so sad.

I always liked him and his music and only recently read both his books back to pack and was so pleased that he had seemed to have gotten himself together.

I feel awful for his wife who had stuck with him forever and seemed to be his rock.

And his kids too.

That's all.

Kitchy-stitches is the Bomb!

I was browsing in the Ol' home town library recently when I came across this gem...

The Museum of kitchy-stitches: a gallery of notorious knits. My favourites included the 'Hamburgered sandwich pillow set', 'The human spirit' and 'I call them underwear'. The book is supposed to 'celebrate' the worst of knits... funny thing was I actually quite liked some of them and was disappointed the patterns were not included !!!

Check it out for yourselves at the stitchymcyarnpants website.

Not that I've been doing much knitting lately, Ive been working on a little stripey bag for way too long. But Yarn Bombing: the art of Crochet and Knit Graffiti may well inspire me to pick up the needles once more.

For those of you not familiar with the concept of Yarn bombing, I've included a few choice examples below... Enjoy!

I wanna go back to San Francisco...

So I can follow the Tales of the City Map on Armistead Maupin's new Website!!!
But instead I'll just have to hold out until Nov. 2nd!

Balancing act

I'm having one of those work/life balance dilemma's

I'm wondering how much I should give up career wise to get my family to where they need to be? There is another job going near where we want to move to but it would be a crap job. Bottom of the rung and I hate to say coz it makes me sound up myself but... very beneath me! BUT if it gets me in there and my family to where we want to go then shouldn't I bite the bullet and just suck it up? But I've worked hard to get where I am and do I really want to take another backwards step? To be honest it feels a bit of an insult and a slap in the face to have to apply for a band 3 position when I am qualified with really great experience. But then maybe I need to get in there so they can see all these things about me? I could hold out for something better, but what if something better dosen't come along?

What to do? What to do?

I mean... I'm not even a frickin' Libran!!!

What you come across when you can't sleep!

I came across this little gem when unable to sleep tonight...

Monica McInerney has a new book out At home with the Templetons and it turns out it's set in the Ol' home town. Watch this clip of her walking around and discussing the town, then at 5min 39seconds in, there's one shot that's a little close to home!