Batty but Wishful...

I just finished Wishful Drinking by one Ms Carrie Fisher, yes she of the Star Wars fame (come on... arn't you all over that by now??? but unfortunately no mention of her other great works e.g. The Blues Brothers, Charlies Angles, Jay and Silent Bob strike back and who could forget her best ever film Drop Dead Fred!!!

I don't know, I just loved her free flowing un pretentious totally honest ranty style of writing,and it also helps that she's completely batty...

I liked it so much I've used my last precious reserve (only 15... bah!) on her follow up Shockaholic.

Guess that makes him 43 3/4

Found out this week that I just missed the 30th Anniversary of my favorite ever literary character one Mr. Adrian Mole...

Satans Claws...

I don't know how many times as a parent I have had to eat my pre-procreation-smug-filled words, but here we go again...

Anyone who knows me would have heard my Santa Rants... I mean, the guy is creepy "come sit on my lap little girl and tell me what you want", "It's lying to your'e children" "He makes the poor kids think they've been bad" blah blah blah...

So how come Christmas eve I find myself not only eating my words but half a carrot at the front door and scoffing down the milk and cookies left out for the fat man (well I should get SOMETHING out of it) and getting all swept away with it the next morning? and how can my heart not melt when Little Miss tells me that of her whole Christmas/Birthday three day extravaganza getting up to see that Santa had been and "I didn't even hear him..."

I love being a cynical bitch, but I forgot how much innocence can be too!

Alli just can't get her groove back...

Here's my list of new years resolutions from 12 months ago...

1. Meh

2.Yes - Yay!

3. Hmmm... well I did join a team sport so that does look good on paper (screen!)

4. Check

5. feelers are out there... more news to follow!

6. well that's kind of why I'm here, you see i've no excuse really... just can't seem to get my groove back!

Other achievements from the year include...

• Actually putting myself out there to start Roller Derby Training - Yay me!
• Producing my first (and second) Zine - Third is up there in the brain... ditto as above - just can't seem to get my groove back.
• Survived probably the most intense job of my life working full time in a highly demanding role with two small children... just one minor hiccup/meltdown!!
• I'm sure there's more... and once I do get said groove back I'm sure it will come to me!

New Favorite Librarian

I've been meaning to upload this for ages, turns out one of my favorite VRDL Roller Derby stars is also a librarian!!! WooHoo... now if only I could find out what school Lucky day 24/7 works at and I'd know where to send Little Miss next year!!!

Tattoo me!

Catching up on some important reading, I came across this article in my 5th favorite magazine (Frankie) about my favorite tattoo artist Miss Jane... hmmm me thinks its a sign I might need to call and make an appointment!!

Don't drink and blog...

Howdy folks, Long time no see...

So here's the update... finished the full-time 'I'm the Boss and a superwoman and I can do it all' job that nearly killed me and caused one major meltdown (as well as a few minor ones) but I got through it and almost cried when I finished and one dashing (not so) young man hugged me and told me I was the best boss he ever had! It wasn't the full time that did it, it was the role itself and I am not ashamed to admit it, it was too much for me! So confirmed when the person who's role it actually is said to me "you know I was actually quite surprised when you applied for it given that I know how much of my work/life balance is made up of work (do I need to point out here that this person DOES NOT have 2 small children??) But I made it through even though it was touch and go there at one stage (see above: meltdown) but hey... three days of not being able to get out of bed and a rather convenient excuse with a flu already going around work and no-one was the wiser!

So here's what I learned from the experience...

-G has had some really crappy bosses in his time if I am the best he's ever had!

-I CAN work at that kind of level but I do not WANT to work at that level!

- I've had too much to drink tonight to think of anymore

Here's what happened next...

I went from being a Full-Time working mum to a Full-Time single mum which is making me question which are the more immature to deal with?

Seriously.

Anyways, for the past two years it has been talked about, and even when I follow through with someone else's idea I am still the bad guy! I decided that something needed to happen so I just made it happen so here I am. And in the words of the great Barbra Feldon (that's 99 folks), Living alone (all be it with two small children) and loving it! I've moved back to the Ol' home town in order for Little Miss to start school here next year. Everything's gone and turned upside down and not everyone is coming along for the ride but I am at the point where I really couldn't give a shit, I am looking after myself and my kiddies and if anyone else wants a part of that, well they better get proving it quick smart!! For the past, well I guess 6 1/2 years since I moved out maybe, I've missed that feeling I had when I lived on my own for the only time in my life in the funkiest little apartment in Nth Carlton that was ALL mine, well guess what folks, I am back in control and it feels soooooo good. The going back to full-time mum bit I will admit it VERY tough, but I'm getting through and biding my time until I get the balance back, it's all good... as is Wild Turkey Honey Liquor... nighty night!

A review from a long time ago... thanks! issue #3 sometime soon...

2.5 weeks...

I miss my blog... I found myself a little huffy the other day while planning Webolution 3 and the words "I don't think anyone is interested in blogs anymore" were uttered. Maybe not, but I'll hang on by the skin of my teeth just in case!

This last 6 months has been ridiculous in my life, I naively took on a job that, although not beyond my capabilities, was definatly way more stress than my life needs. I haven't had this many sleepless nights since the bookshop that shall not be named days. But then again at least I'm being paid a decent wage to handle the stress this time.

The temp role finished in 2.5 weeks (and counting), and look, it has been a very useful experience and I've learned a lot. Most significantly that;

a) although I can work at this level, I don't want to work at this level. and;

b) I'm too nice for this job! which has increased the stress levels big time by my not being able to just say "you're out of line" or "that's just not good enough" or "just get your shit together honey!"

I had bigger plans for my time in this role, and I thought I would be able to prove to myself that I was a stronger person than people saw me as, and that I wouldn't let people walk all over me. But then hey, If your dealing with a staff of over 80 and it's only 4 who are driving you crazy then maybe that's a pretty good ratio!

I still feel a little disappointed that It wasn't the experience i'd hoped for, but I'm sure I will be able to look back and say how great it was once I am able to step away from it all. I do like having my own office though!

So anyways, 2.5 weeks and I get to feel like me again. There will be some big changes afoot. and maybe a little bit of getting back to whats important in my life (like actually getting around to writing on my daggy old out of date blog!)

Break in transmission...

I finally give myself the space- both physically and mentally, to write, and I seem to have given myself the old 'block'. You see I don't want this to turn into a big winge fest about poor me... But that's the majority of my emotional state at the moment. The world, along with everybody in it, seems to be driving me crazy (and I'm not even pre-menstral!) There are lights at the end of my tunnel so to speak, but even those are going to mean a compromise of my principles as well as my pride. But I must stay focused, I need to keep my eye on that long term prize, do whats best for me and my family and get over the fact that I might have to let a few people down in that process. I feel there's been a bit of a break in transmission from feeling myself, time to get that back I think!

OK OK lets get on with it and focus on a few positives;

Bought myself some shiny new Red Roller Skates so I guess that means I'm pretty serious about running away with the Derby... that and I got a decent tax return which I need to get my fair share out of before the boy spends it all! I am beating myself up about not doing it sooner, but hey, better late and all that. Made some new friends already including a skunk haired* Drag King who likes to talk about her kidney transplant!

I am also getting myself back into reading at least a book a week, even if it does mean getting up at 6.30 am to fit it in! Last two books I read were pretty good; Norah Vincent's Self Made Man and Thirty something and the clock is ticking by Kasey Edwards which I would consider the most sensible book on motherhood I have ever read!

I also managed to escape for three fabulous hours all on my lonesome today... Imagine it... ALL alone! I even treated myself to a cheeky afternoon glass of wine... ohhh naughty!

Who knows... with all this getting back to me stuff going on, I might even manage to get out Realia #3 sometime in the near to medium future!

*hopefully my new drag king friend has seen Ladies and Gentlemen the fabulous Stains and therefore understands this is most definatly a majorly positive thing!

Thing haven't been great of late. I'm working in a role which is way above my comfort zone. Its a good role and I thought I was ready for it, and i probably am if that is all I had to consider... but of course there is so much more to my life and things never run to plan... I mean who could have predicted the number of resignations we've had in the last few months, and how much extra pressure that puts on me, both because of the job I'm in and the kind of person I am. Ive been laying awake at night thinking about all the things i think i need to be doing... what i need to be doing is looking after myself and my kids... i miss them!!! I can't remember when I had this much stress job-wise going on, I've been pretty lucky in that respect for the past couple of years. All I can say is it is one hell of a learning experience!

exhilarated!!

Tonight I went to my first "fresh meat" training with the Westside derby dolls! I've been umming and ahhing about it for so long wondering if I might have what it would take and guess what... I might! I did pretty good and had a blast! Mind you I was just training and learning a few moves, no scrimmaging for me... but still, I feel amazing! Maybe not so amazing tomorrow, but amazing none the less! I haven't done any serious skating in ages, but I can still skate pretty good, my fitness isn't nearly as bad as I expected, and I eve had a couple of, hey your pretty fast comments come my way! (Tis also amazing how much easier it is to skate in skates that actually fit, not 20 year old ones too sizes too small so guess what I'm doing with my tax return money this year!!)

So guess where I'm heading next Wednesday night then!...

But then there's always got to be a bottom to every high... I have a partner who is totally unsupportive and "thinks it's a stupid idea". For fucks sake, I feel like I'm living with someone who doesn't know me... How can I share my life with someone when I feel like they have no idea who I am? How can that be the recipe for a happy life? It seems the more cool stuff I do and the more I feel back to the old (pre-kids) me, the more depressed I feel about the whole situation... I just don't know how much more I can give?

OK this is now getting all a bit too down and heavy... Back to the derby... this weeks adventure; head down to Rebel sport for my own pads, helmet a and mouthguard...

And yes I have picked out my derby name and no I'm not telling until I register it so in the meantime, enjoy this link to some other library related derby names

Amy Amy Amy...

Goodbye Beautiful, Unconventional, Misunderstood Soul Diva.

I hate to say it because I think your wonderful but you've made the best career move you ever could have. You'll now have the place in legend and history your music deserves...

To the latest member of the 27 club. (Sorry I'm a week late!)

Wet...

I loved this book, I could not put it down, but I'm apprehensive to recommend this book to anyone at the library lest I'm accused of sexual harassment! Or of being a bit pervy, but well... It was great! The "makes the vagina monologues look tame" quote on the front kind of sums up what you can expect... head in if you dare!!!

Radar...

Here's a few things that have been showing up on my (very tired) radar of late!

Earlier this year JA and I took an adventure to an Australian 70's musical legends house under the guise of picking up a DVD for the Sharpies night at the library... Somehow JA managed to steer the conversation, as she steer's all conversations, to the subject of Joan Jett... Said music legend had some stories to tell including one about this band whose lead singer was murdered and Joan Jett got involved with the rest of the band to raise money to hire a private investigator etc. We had never heard this story and were fascinated... here's a movie we've found since...

One of my most recent reads was Portia De Rossi's Unbearable Lightness. If I had to use one word it would be "Intense"! She's certianly not afraid to bear all about her struggles with eating disorders and I've found a new respect for her. Not that I didn't before, to be honest I didnt really feel anything much for her efore other than a, 'oh look, she's on the telly and she grew up in Geelong, thats pretty good' kind of thing...



But I Reading the book made me dig a little deeper and you know what, I think she's pretty great now. I also love that she's out and a whole new role model for gay women who really doesnt fit into the stereotype of what a lesbian should look like, dress like, or be.

So anyway all this looking lead me to Ellen of course and I realised I'd never actually seen the famed "coming out" episode of her sitcom... Here's the last part of it...

And yes it is very cheezy in bits, but also some genius moments too... Oprah as the theripist (apparently she got HEAPS of hate mail!), kd lang as the folk singer/waitress ("Good for you, I'm your waitress") and Melissa Ethridge and the toaster oven! Love it!!

I'd seen the Maysles documentary of Grey Gardens a few years ago and became a little fascinated with the story. I finally got to see the tellemovie biopic of it made last year with Drew Barrymore (who I love!). I was a little sceptical about it but I think they did a brilliant job. Drew nailed the voice and the ageing make up was done amazingly!

I've out this clip on which was an extra on the DVD, it shows some of the scenes from the original and the recreations... Enjoy!

And here's a book I've been meaning to write about for ages... The girl in the song a look at 50 classic pop songs and the muses behind them... and it's got Marianne on the cover!

You know I love a good prossie book, and although the Belle De Jour books might not be the best ones, well I love the TV show as a bit of light trash so of course was very happy to find this interview with Miss Billie and the 'Real' Belle De Jour, outed in the last few years...

This one was a little bit of a disappointment, I expected it to be juicier, but still some interesting stories...

And Last but not least... I have to mention Go the f*ck to sleep!

Here's former Play School host Noni reading it... enjoy!

Celebrities in Williamstown...

Well I guess when the Banner says "you belong @ HBL" I don't really have much chance of getting a job anywhere else hey!?

Insecure...

I'm feeling a bit flat at the mo... Started a new, Full Time, Full On role which I will be in for the next 5 months, It's good, or it will be when I get a handle on everything I need to know and don't need to ring up Library Jo every 5 seconds for little stupid things I should be able to figure out for myself if I wasn't feeling so overwhelmed by the whole world! Right now I have the desire to hid under the blankets until it all goes away!

The other thing I'm feeling a bit crap about is; I entered this Zine challenge thing where you had to make a zine in a week based around Eurovision. It was right when I started back full time and I really did make a crap awful Zine which I feel a bit embarrassed about now. I received the zine pack in the mail today, and all though I've only looked at 3 so far I am feeling like I should have put a lot more effort into it, and feel like all my ideas were VERY un-original and well, just a bit crap! Some of these Zines are FANTASTIC... pity I haven't got much reading time at the mo!

I'll get over it and myself soon enough...

Mummy Manners...

I had higher expectations of this book... I used to love Elle McFeast and thought this would provide a bit of bitchy fun to get one through the fraught minefield that is the Mothers Group, Playground etiquette, Child's birthday parties and the like. But to be honest it gets a bit boring after the first 5 minutes. At first I liked the LCSH type subject headings but that too gets very boring and really just makes it look like she's trying to be too cleaver for her own good!

I just don't think it brings anything new to the table. And managed to piss me off... Inferring that a woman's greatest achievement will always be her kids, and that the other reason a woman would go back to work is financial. Goddess forbid she make like her own life, or her career may be also of importance, or daddy could stay home, or she may need to go out to work to keep her sane! And you can send your kids to childcare for reasons other than you have to go to work for financial reasons and NOT EVERYONE FEELS GUILTY ABOUT THAT! And maybe I'm just a bit tired and over sensitive and over analyzing what s supposed to be a comedy book!

More reviews...

I've been such a bad blogger of late... Lucky others are writing about me! THANKS!

From Sticky's 'Sporadic Correspondence from the institute'

REALIA #2
HotRod Librarian
$1.50
www.hotrodlibrarian.blogspot.com
Loving the recycled book cover but i really feel the need to re-recycle it into art; maybe later once i have fully digested the information inside. Can fully understand where this one is coming from as i am writing this review while sat in a house being a housewife in the suburbs far enough from the city that i feel totally isolated. Like i said i really know where this one is coming from but all the swearing actually written down is pretty harsh. What strikes me about this writer is that she really really has plenty to say and its straight up to the point personal hard hitting honesty. She really wants to share her motherly wisdom to help the rest of us feel better about things. Certainly not sitting on the fence this hot rod librarian has got some things to say about bringing up children properly. I must say i agree with pretty much everything in the zine and anything that makes me laugh out loud is good news living out here in the suburbs. I'll definitely not cut up the cover to make more art works but i might follow the directions on how to make my own play dough!
-KESWICKLEMON

Looky here!

Another Review!

P.S. issue #2 on childhood is done, trouble is I cant remember who I have and haven't posted it to yet!!! (FT work is killing the brain cells!) so if you get two, sorry, pass it on to someone! If you haven't got one in a week or so... tell me!
Love me.

Seems almost everyones favourite part of my zines has been the cute rubber stamp of the girl reading the book...

Her name is Kosheshi and she's from Talk to the Sun on Etsy.

Tis the little things...

I'm working full time at the moment... It's the first time in about 6 years and things are a little insane in my household to say the least, what with 2 kiddies, household renovations and the boy trying to get over his feelings of emasculation (is that even a word!) as I earn a (lot more) money than him and want him to go part time and take over the majority of the household chores. (this has been my dream for such a long time... it's part allergies to all kinds of domestic work and part revenge for the last 4 years!!!) I've just got to convince him it was his idea!!! (hey where would modern day relationships be without some form of subtle manipulation!) Not to mention how It's eating into my blogging time!

Anyways, I know it's maybe a little politically incorrect to say it, but I LOVE being back to full time, and now I've found out that I'm going to be doing it for another 5 months in a job I've been eyeing off since I started at the library so I'm feeling a bit smug and pleased with myself! It's hard and I'm exhausted but I've found a few ways to make it work;

Don't plan too much! My first weekend/Tuesday morning off I tried to cram sooo much in, bad move, was exhausted before I even got to work!

Get the kids to bed early! They are so exhausted from childcare anyways it's not too hard.

And/Or palming off the kids for a night/weekend... the trick is to show the G'ma's how this is more convenient for them as it saves them having to get up at 5.30am to be here fro babysitting days!

The Dishwasher! She has been in my life just shy of two months and I am in LOVE!

Fortnightly massages... oh this is bliss, I won't be able to continue it too much longer but it is getting my body back on track and giving me 1/2 hour of not having to think time!

Setting my alarm 20 mins early so I can sit in bed with my coffee and read instead of trying to do make up/get dressed/drive whilst scoffing it down (note to self: this only works on child free mornings!)

Other things that are making me happy at the moment include;

Packets of Zines coming in the mail that I'd forgotten I'd ordered!

Finishing Sticky's 168 challenge with minimal amount of stress!

Chatting to G online and realising that her idea of lovely spring weather in Edinburgh was the same temp as me winging about it becoming a cold winter here! I still miss Edinburgh though!

Meeting my newest little friend in a whirlwind of craziness... hope to get to know him in a calmer environment next time.

Naughty email chats to Best Friend C through work email... well she works in a library too, so it's work related!

Talking books in the car on the way to work!

Look...
My first ever review!!

Put down that weapon and pick up the sticks

I've been neglecting my knitting recently... What with all the zine making and working full time and all that but now the winter is settling in, peak knitting season is about to begin!

Here’s some instructions for my latest creation that is not actually finished and therefore I can’t actually testify for this as an actual workable pattern but I’d rather you just took a little inspiration and just made it up for yourself anyway...

Hotrodlibrarians super hot knitted tool belt thingi

1. Find yourself a knitting teacher and or good book and give it a go.

2. CO about, I don’t know, 20 stitches or so... I’m gonna felt this coz I love felting and coz it covers up any little mistakes nicely... but remember that felting shrinks things by nearly ½ so make it a fair bit bigger than you actually want it to be.

3. Keep King or K1 P1 if you want (I’m just knitting coz I want a bit of texture after the felting but thats just me) until it wraps around your waist almost 2 times.

4. Im finishing off my belt bit in a point by K2tog at the start and finish of every second line but you finish it off however you want to...

5. I’m now getting onto King about 5 or 6 pockets of varing sizes that I’m then going to stictch onto the belt maybe before I felt it or maybe I’ll just felt them all at the same time and stitch them on later, I haven’t decided yet.

6. Im then gonna cut a button hole in my pointy bit (yet another good thing about felting is that you can cut it and it (theoretically) can handle it.)

7. Then Im gonna sew some funky buttons on so that its kind of opposite to a regular belt where you’d have one button and lots of holes. I’m gonna put a few buttons on to cover for fluctuating weight/period bloating/crappy sewing skills that will probably see the buttons put in the wrong spot.

8. Wear with pride to stash all your Knit graffiti parafinalia/Roller skating tools/weapons of mass distruction.

Sticky Star!

Tiny things and all that...

Well they do say tiny things please tiny minds...

But I always get a laugh when you come across an unfortunate call number!!

The Book 2.0

I finished my first zine, only 12 years after I first planned to do one! (I was going through some old journals the other day and found the plans for it!) I'm going to send it out next week to various friends and new contacts I've made... oh and I've already started on my next one too!

I've loved having a little creative project to work on, and I like seeing my writing in something more tangible (I really don't enjoy reading on the computer screen and find I tend to only scan over things that arn't in physical form.)

But I'm already feeling all insecure about it! I'll probably get criticised for calling another woman that I don't even know a Bitch. Forgive me for that... I should have said Bitchy Attitude!

I also wonder if it's going to be seen as too light and fluffy (Isn't that the whole point... that it can be whatever you want it to be?) I think I've just been reading too much theoretical, academic stuff about zines that makes me think that to produce a zine you have to be a Vegan/Queer/Trans/Radical/Political activist.

So who would want to read a zine made by someone with 2.5 kids, a respectable job and a house in the suburbs? I guess we'll find out!!

My first memory

This is actually a picture of what I think is my first memory. So who knows if I really remember it or if it’s because of the picture that I remember it. But what I do remember of this chairlift ride is that I was scared I was going to drop my dolly so I asked my mum to hold her for me. This was on a trip that my family took to Surfers Paridise (I think) when I was about 4 (I think). Other memories from this trip include; the pool at the hotel had a seahorse mosaic thing at the bottom of it, We had a Mini-Moke hire car, and sliding down sand dunes in my undies with plastic charms on strings around mine and my brother’s necks (we also have photographs of all these things too so I’m pretty sure I’m just remembering the photo’s with those ones) But I defiantly remember the bit about not wanting to drop my dolly! (I think!!)

Magazines I can stand!

Sometimes I feel like magazines are the enemy of the thinking woman, filling our lives with trash (not that that's always a bad thing!) and basically cheapening our lives in general. I used to be a bit of a magazine junkie, then all your who's and your NW's came out and I kind of swung the other way and wouldn't enter a newsagent if my life depended on it! But I am pleased to report in the last few years I have come across some magazines that I can stand... and a few recent articles that have tickled my fancy... I'm a regular subscriber to BUST: the magazine for women with something to get off their chest. Though I think they may be getting a little too slick and mainstream for their own good. They LOVE the DIY (as do I, in fact they may be responsible for my taking up knitting... just so you know who to blame!) and their latest 'food' issue contained this fab little project. Bitch Magazine has kind of stuck more to its feminist roots than BUST and I'm only a recent subscriber (though I used to always read it when I worked You-Know-Where!) LOVED this take on those ridiculous baby-nappy basket things... It kind of reminds me of one of my favourite episodes of Sex & the City called 'A woman's right to shoes' where Carrie is forced to remove her Manolo's at a friends party coz said friend doesn't want dirt coming into her house with her kids and blah blah, Carrie's shoes get nicked, friend refuses to pay for them, Carrie realises that she has bought that friend an Engagement present, Wedding present, Presents when each of the 3 kids were born, but what do singles get... a big fat nothin' Bring me a PMT cake over a baby thing anyday!! My newest favourite mag is Femme Fatal: Kustom Kulture for Dames. (when are you guys going to bring out another issue???) Being so out of the loop on stuff, I only came across it a couple of months ago, and immediately sent off for a copy and low and behold; The first issue contained an article on my lovely tattooist Jane! Issue #2 Had an article on Sharpies which is also definitely worth checking out too! For other magazines worth checking out I would say; Frankie, Milkshake and the Derby mag Hit and Miss. P.S. while were sort of on the subject... I just put the glue stick down from creating my first Zine (hey I did warn you a while back!) Now just got to sneakily use mum's photocopier over Easter (hope she's not reading!) Its doing that thing again where it wont let me put in line breaks... AAARRRGGGHHH

Zine serindipity...

You know how I got that parcel of zines from Sticky Institute the other day, well there were two absolute stand out gems amongst it;

&

Which is kind of funny because I didn't even order these two, there was one they couldn't provide so they sent me these as a 'sorry' gift... serindipity hey!

Some other ones that were pretty heavy going but really got me thinking were;




My other two favourites just coz they were a bit cute;

Femi-nazi? Femi-nuffy more like it... AKA my history in feminism

I identify as a feminist, but it’s such a loaded word, as I soon came to understand as a Naive first year student at a country university taking Women’s Studies because it sounded interesting.

I always heard that feminists were crazy women and they might get somewhere if they just figured out what they want as the media pitted one feminist against another with very different ideals and priorities. Of course I heard this from my bigoted, narrow minded father whose other such rants took on topics such as Aboriginal land rights, Greeks, left wing politicians, Homosexuals, Immigrants etc. Etc. You get the idea! Whose answer to any kind of further explanation was always “one day you’ll understand” which I only came to realise later meant he had no further debate and his whole perspective of the situation came from A Current affair/60 minutes. (But then again he also assumed that nobody likes Pumpkin soup and everyone likes country music and could never understand if he was ever challenged on these beliefs.)

Anyways I was going somewhere with this rant!

Ive always thought that chicks were great but thought you had to have some academic kind of qualification or have had some sort of radical initiation to be able call yourself a feminist. I remember enrolling in the Women’s studies subject and making some offhand comment to my then boyfriend along the lines of “Ha, wont my dad love it if I come home and tell him I’m a feminist... how would he cope with that first a gay son then a feminist daughter...” and then-boyfriend said “why don’t you already call yourself a feminist” which got me to thinking (turns out this boyfriend might have been useful for something after all now I think about it!).

Anyways back on the track... So in undertaking this course I discover that its not that simple... there’s your radical feminist, your Marxist feminists, your separatist, queer, eco, black, liberal, not to mention your second-wave, third-wave and post feminists and it goes on and on and on... I JUST THINK CHICKS ARE GREAT! I love it when women beat men at their own game, I believe that women can do everything and anything that men can (and more) and want the opportunity to be available to all. and I have no issue with pornography or women using their bodies if THEY ARE THE ONES IN CONTROL and doing it because they want to.

But it’s choice that I think it comes down to, and I respect if that choice includes things traditionally under the feminine gender stereotype like being a stay at home mum, a nurse, knitting, baking cupcakes or whatever floats your boat. I love that these things are being reclaimed, and I love it even more when men do them too. I think the world these days is hard for men too, and I respect anyone who can loudly and proudly JUST BE THEMSELVES! (P.S.I love knitting and baking cupcakes so there!)

Feminism still gets a bad rap, a friend of mine the other day said something along the lines of “yeah they did a lot of great stuff for women but now we are expected to do it all, work, babies, all of it.” There is a lot of truth in that, and it’s defiantly something I struggle with everyday. Life would be a lot easier for me if I were happy to be a stay at home mum/subservient housewife but I’m afraid it ain't gonna happen! It was never going to be like that. And it would be nice if the boy would come along for that ride and meet me half way but he seems to delight in making life hard for me! Things were fine before the kiddlies came along, we would each cook every second night and whoever didn’t cook did the dishes blah blah. But for some reason when the kiddiewinks came along 50’s housewife style gender divides came into play. And I’d just like to add here in my defence that pretty much the year after you have a baby is the most vulnerable time in a woman’s life and if there is someone willing to take advantage of that then you’re in big trouble lady (trust me I know!)

So how does one fix this mess, without becoming a ‘bitch’ or a ‘nag’ (my current tag). The only way out I can currently see for the boy to once again take me seriously again is to return to full-time work, it’s the only way I can see he might meet me half way, but I think I’m kidding myself there too. I want him to become a stay at home or at least part time working dad, Then I get to just lie on the couch when I get home from work until called to the table for tea (but only once it’s served up and on the table for me!) Actually I don’t think that’s how it will really be but whatever happens, I can’t wait to see how he handles it all. “This is easy” will no doubt be all I will here “I don’t know what you were winging about”, all that! But I’ll know...

How does one juggle all these identities ‘wife’(I use this term loosley!), mother, lover, career-gal, feminist without dropping any of the (metaphorical) balls? Will he ever meet me ½ way? Will those feminists on the telly ever agree on what it is they are fighting for? Join me in the next life for the answers to these questions and more...

Zinies...

I love getting real mail... And today I received this tasty little package full of zines I ordered from Sticky Institute in a bit of a drunken online shopping splurge on my weekend off! Ima gonna be busy for the next couple of days! Oh and I will probably find them VERY inspiring... Don't say you haven't been warned!

A roller skating jam called sunday morning...

I just went for my first Roller Skate is probably 7 years (well apart from that one spin around the kitchen after I saw Whip it last year!) and hey guess what... didn't fall over or nothin'!!! Yup I've still got my skates much to the boys chargrin, they are cool, red and white, old skool (though unfortunately not hightop but you cant have it all and eat it too). In fact how I came to own these skates is kind of a funny story, one my mum will be most upset about me telling. It must have been, oh god at least 20 year ago as I was still a teenager and still going to rod runs with the fam... this one was at the Natex complex in Canberra which happened to also contain a Roller Skating rink back when there were still Roller Skating rinks around... (does anyone else remember the Zoo Roller Disco in Bendigo? I think its a paint shop now!) Anyways my dad had this hilarious idea that he wanted to please the crowd by roller skating in his undies behind the Yellow truck (out Chevy pickup) water skiing style. He went to the rink to borrow a pair and they were not amused and wouldn't lend them... so he bought them... as you do. I don't think anyone else found this caper as hilarious as my dad thought it was, especially my mum whom to which we pointed out that dad had holes in those particular undies... Anyways as luck would have it I'm about the same size shoe as my dad, well a tiny bit bigger but the stitches, breathing and lower back pain tend to kick in before the feet start to hurt so it's all good!

Fast cars and Slow magazines...

Latest issue of Slow magazine...

Ex Libris Detrium...

Check out the Ex Libris Detrium exhibition at Castlemaine library...

"an accumulation of objects found in books returned to the library"

DIY feminism...

That book on Riot Grrrl, Girls to the front got me thinking about another book in my collection which I dragged out today; DIY Feminism which came out around '95-96. Actually I remember when I bought it, I was sort of friends with this girl, I say sort of friends because I thought we were friends but it was one of those circumstantial friendships where once circumstances have changed and I wasn't needed anymore, well, you know, scrap heap etc. Anyways she had told me about this "naff book about trying to be all new feminist with, you know, annoying chicks like that one in Spiderbait and that young spunky politician and stuff". She was totally bagging it out but I just kept my mouth shut and thought I'd go buy it at the next opportunity. I think it was my first real introduction to things like zines. Growing up in the country in the pre-internet age really was such a sheltered lifestyle. Anyways, it was a good book, and I'm gonna have another read so hopefully it hasn't dated too much!

Four books that have changed the way I feel about teenage girls...

I remember how hard it can be to be a teenage girl, and it shocks me to realise that it was half of my lifetime ago, sometimes that agony is still so strong for me. There have been four books that have really effected me in the last couple of weeks and all have that teenage girl theme running through them; I watched the movie Precious and was blown away and immediately read the Novel Push by Sapphire. Based around her experiences teaching underprivileged teenage girls in alternative schools, and told from the perspective of Clarice Precious Jones, who is 16 and pregnant with her second child to her father... not for the fainthearted but so inspiring with finding the right support and someone to believe in you and push you to be all you can be, that such a big difference could be made, and one life saved. I also love that it's told in Clarice's voice, well written voice... if you read it you'll see what I mean! I've become addicted to audio books, out library has just gone live with Eaudio book downloads from Bolinda Audio. I listened to On the Jellicoe road by Melina Marchetta. Such a well written intricate tale of a young girl trying to understand the mysteries of her life. Don't be fooled by the "Teenage" fiction tag, I love her books and like I said before, that was 1/2 my life ago! Eve Ensler's I am an emotional creature was also a truly inspiring read, makes me feel like I'd love to work with teenage girls, to make a difference in their lives (though ask me again in 10 or so years time when I have two teenage girls of my own!) I love the monologue style of Eve Ensler's work (they are written as plays/spoken word pieces to be performed rather than just read) I think she is such a brave writer... and she has great hair! Lastly, I'm currently reading Girls to the front: the true story of the Riot Grrrl revolution by Sarah Marcus. Loving it! But feel a bit sad that 20 years on we still have such huge issues with Bullying, Body image and sexual harassment. I found this great sign? picture? note? on the Bust website the other day which shows me the spirit of Riot Grrrl is still alive... Gotta love Bust! But back to the book, I managed to miss out on Riot Grrrl until about '95 when it had all become so mainstream that it lost it's soul and the original Riot Grrrls had lost faith in their original concepts. Maybe I was too young, or maybe it was a geographical thing I don't know but I love the spirit of the movement, the DIY aspects that I think will never happen again now that we've got the net to make all that stuff too easy for us. My brand of feminism suits the Riot Grrrl style. I like taking the boys on at their own game!

Rollin'...

I finally made it to my first VRDL Bout last night and I have to say... I am in love!

Next weekend when the boy is gone and the girls are out of my hair I'm gonna strap on the skates for the first time in about 7 years (apart from that one spin around the kitchen!) and see if I've still got what it would take!!!

I love the fact that there was such a huge range of female forms on display, and that it's all about the talent and having a ball! I love the DIY aspect of it, I love that these girls are celebrated for being tough, sexy and athletic.

Oh Yeah... I just remembered the story of my first time on Roller Skates. My (four years older than me) brother got a pair of those adjustable skates you put over your shoes, I asked to have a go but my mum said I was too little... so after my brother got bored with struggling with it, I nicked the skates and took them over to my dad to adjust for me, apparently mum looked out the window and I was up skating straight away!

Hope you like her...

Coz she's gonna be around for a while!!!

She was done today by Jane Laver from Chapel Tattoo and I love her!!!

Good friends and Sharpies...

I am blessed with some terrific friends in my life, and I have always tried to keep up with them on a regular basis, I don't know if its a needy insecurity thing in me or what but I am starting to understand that quality over quantity and that thing about letting them go and if they come back and also that the whole thing is a two way street and phew... can I come up with anymore tacky affirmative assertions?

But that quality over quantity thing is what I'm having to live my life by at the moment and I've had two such experiences of late that definitely fall under the quality category.

I went to see one of my favourite authors, Armistead Maupin, with one of my favourite friends S, also a fellow fan. In fact I think we may have bonded over our mutual love for the man... oh my god 15 years ago!!! But it was just such a lovely evening, went to see him DJ first, then had a lovely curry, and although we ran into a lot of people we both know including my brother (though that wasn't exactly a run into) we got to spend a few good solid hours just catching up. No kiddy distractions, No crowds of people viying for mine or... mostly his attention. Ahhh Bliss!

The other really great friendship experience of late was with the lovely JA. I had contacted Greg MacAinsh (of Skyhooks fame!) about using his short film of the Sharpies he made in 1974 at my event (more on that later). He made me a high quality DVD copy and I was to go pick it up from his house which is near JA's and she is the one person who would understand that hey, this is actually quite a big deal! Turns out the day I ended up going over there she had, um, well, lets just say she was 'under the weather' and leave it at that. So we walked on over from hers and spent a good 1/2 hour in really interesting conversation with a real life Aussie songwriting legend! We even managed to somehow steer the conversation to JA's current love of her life Joan Jett... And we were so good and NOT groupie like, in fact when he went to answer his phone (Ring tone = Gary Glitter's Rock and Roll part 2!) we didn't leave our seats and only craned our heads to snoop around!!!

So the Sharpies event went well, other than a minor technical difficulty and the fact that I was trying to do it all myself so was running around like a mad woman whilst trying to be the talent as well! (We had it as an 'in conversation' piece which was great but I shouldn't have been trying to do everything else too! typical me!!). Anyways despite the fact that I cant really remember what was said as its all went by in such a blur, the night was really well received and I met some really interesting people including Chane Chane, lead singer of 70's Aussie Punk/Sharpie band LaFemme who we managed to convince to give us a lesson in the Sharpie Shuffle... gee I hope someone got that on film!! Film maker Rebecca McLean who showed us a couple of her films and even someone who's mum wrote the book the Delinquents, yep the one made into the film with Kylie. I'm pretty proud of the whole event to be honest and not to blow my own trumpet too much!!!

DoooDoDO! (that was supposed to be a trumpet noise... OK shut up now!)

Taking notes...?

Last night I went out... properly out with like drinks and dancing and going to clubs with a cover charge and staying out past the pumpkin hour! Crazy I know!! It was celebrating my equal best Friend C's birthday and we had a hotel room to retire to and all... But like the typical librarian I am, I found the need to take notes on the evening in order to share it with all of you, Here's what I woke up to on my phone this morning which I will then attempt to translate...


Ironic dancing, hair styler straightenerin toilet that was weird, khocolate bar melbournes home r & b old scool beats, high heels, don't move feet $12 entry, what was that club in st kilda retro club???? Can't talk, 10, maybe 15 years ago, since I was a student. Dj wants to be a radio anoucer what the fuck is thatanoucinh the song over the track, since when do they do that though the club we went to in my student days seemed to just play the same mixed tape every night, grease megamix followed by Lenny are you gonna go my way! And that friggin sirraid siren what's that all about?oh and then some people in dress ups came in...um they just played ice Ice baby didn't I request that once at a blue light disco?friggin hens nights don't ever let me get married.twister. Then we got taken to another club with the promise of 80's music and $5 to get in and all I got was pointer sisters being very excited then they played all the same songs as the other place except ice icebaby which would have redeemed the situation, rockin the cazbar nowok gotta sit down now too old for this shit, there's Billy Jean again...oh yeah that's what I was going to say, club that looks all plush in the dark but you know would be all sad inThe lightwhats going on I don't smokebut it smelled so good what's with that?policeman just came to talk to me do I look that pathetic? remindsne of that time the bartender told me the bouncer said to keep an eye on me because they thought I was out of it when I wadjust tiredthen they played Mel n Kim respectable and got me up again tren yazz then when salt n proa came on all was forgiven Sent from my iPhone

Ironic dancing (Two of C's friends were masters of the ironic dance which I am most appreciative of... cant stand those who take themselves too seriously)
hair styler straightenerin toilet that was weird, (See picture below, in the ladies toilet there was a hair straightener that you could put $2 into to use... weirdest part about it is that nobody else battered an eyelid at this!)
khocolate bar melbournes home r & b old scool (school) beats (Club we went to),
high heels, don't move feet(I was amazed at the height if some of the heels on the ladies, I am a flatty girl myself, 'cept for my cowboy boots with their cuban style heel, oh and my fake maribou slippers, anyways I'm always amazed at how the ladies walk on these instruments of torture let alone dance. What I observed is that you just don't move your feet but confine your dance moves to your upper body)
$12 entry,(we were all a little horrified, but it's been a long time so I just figure that's what you pay these days, others in the group were not so gracious and just left... a little rude me thinks when your out with a group)
what was that club in st kilda retro club???? (I was thinking back to my 'clubbing' days, I say 'clubbing' the most broadest sense of the word as we used to go to some of the daggiest places possible)
Can't talk, (not literally, i think this was refering to the bagging out of the said club that I was doing in my head, then thinking of the places we used to frequent - see last explanation)
10, maybe 15 years ago, since I was a student. (was thinking of how long it had been since I'd been out like this)
Dj wants to be a radio anoucer what the fuck is thatanoucinh (announcing) the song over the track, since when do they do that (the DJ was sooooo irritating announcing the tracks and stuff)
though the club we went to in my student days seemed to just play the same mixed tape every night, grease megamix followed by Lenny are you gonna go my way! (this is true... same songs in the same order, every time we went. The only ones I remember though are the Grease Megamix was always followed by Lenny Kravitz 'Are you gonna go my way' which made me happy, oh and they always played this really dirty version of that 'Wiggle Wiggle' song)
And that friggin sirraid (air raid) siren what's that all about?oh and then some people in dress ups came in...um they just played ice Ice baby didn't I request that once at a blue light disco?friggin hens nights don't ever let me get married. (Is all of this self explanatory?)
twister. (That was the name of that 80's 'club' we used to go to in St Kilda ALL the time that I couldnt remember the name of)
Then we got taken to another club (Chaise Lounge) with the promise of 80's music and $5 to get in and all I got was pointer sisters being very excited then they played all the same songs as the other place except ice icebaby which would have redeemed the situation, rockin the cazbar nowok gotta sit down now too old for this shit, there's Billy Jean again...oh yeah that's what I was going to say, club that looks all plush in the dark but you know would be all sad inThe lightwhats going on I don't smokebut it smelled so good what's with that?(walking to the next bar I had 1/2 a cigarette, I don't smoke and I hate smoking but it just smelled so good that I don't know what came over me!)
policeman just came to talk to me do I look that pathetic? (Some police came into the bar while I was sitting on one of the couches on my own having a bit of a rest, just came up to me and asked how my night was and who I was here with, probably just looking out for girls who were on their own)
remindsne (reminds me) of that time the bartender told me the bouncer said to keep an eye on me because they thought I was out of it when I wadjust tired (This one time I was just exhaustedly tired and layed on the chair to have a little power nap, the bouncer must have thought I was really out of it and told the bartender to get me out of there, I wasn't, I was just tired and he knew I was no trouble, just old me maybe not to lay down as the bouncers were watching me. You think back to your student/going out days and think; 'If I was that tired why the hell was I out at a bar???')
then they played Mel n Kim respectable and got me up again tren (then) yazz (The only way is up!)then when salt n proa (Pepa - Push it, one of my favourite songs of all time)
came on all was forgiven
Sent from my iPhone (Emailed to myself as I figured these really profound thoughts and observations should never be forgotten...)

Another Day, Another Rant...

OK so we had a 4 year old birthday party on Saturday. It was at Macca's, which I don't have any moral or big corporate evil giant objection too... in fact I've been known to have the occasional indulge... and they've got free wifi too!

Anyways back to my story...

My Rant is not about the venue, but about the choices some people make, or perhaps they are not making a choice and that's the problem.

Little Miss was sitting next to birthday girl when the happy meals were served. She spied Little Misses Apple Juice...

Birthday Girl: "I want some of *****'s Drink"

Birthday Girls Mum: "No ****, Your having Coke"

BG: "But I don't want Coke, I want Apple Juice"

BGM: "No, your having Coke!"

Now, once again, No objection to Coke itself, In fact, once again, I don't mind the occasional tipple myself. I have no big corporate giant Hijacked Santa kind of objection to Coke. I JUST DON'T THINK ITS VERY GOOD FOR LITTLE KIDS!

If your kid wants fruit juice why are you forcing carbonated, caffeine filled, sugar laden, has no kind of natural taste what-so-ever? I'm also not under any illusion that the Apple Juice itself has any less sugar than the Coke, but at least its kind of got some sort of recognisable taste and maybe some hint of nutritional value hidden in there somewhere.

I would never say anything at the party to the other parents but I got all smug and proud of Little Miss when she didn't want any of birthday Girls drink coz it was yucky! Yay you! Yep, won't say anything but will get all ranty about it later! Hypocritical yes, Smug yes, Superior... I don't think I am by any means, but like I said before, of course I think my parenting choices are superior to others or I wouldn't be doing it that way!